this is my thoughts

"you are a confused and scary group"

2012-02-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

I normally don't do this

2012-01-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

as cheesy as they are, those asian new year videos from Caren really struck a chord in me.

sigh. Thanks pa. and ma. I love you so much and wish I were better at communicating this message.

Every time I come home, I anticipate spending time with you. But as soon as I step through that door, I become a different animal. I become selfish, demanding, and critical of your actions, failing to remember all of the sacrifices you made in order to offer me the good life. I get annoyed at your well intended advice (see email above), seeing only the flaws and rolling my eyes. I forget that it's not necessarily the message, but the well-meaning intent I should take away from it.

I yell at you guys a lot and keep my distance. I'm easily annoyed by your efforts to spend time with me. I wish I were more patient with you because I know I underappreciate you.

Sorry I'm such a brat :\ This new year I will try my best to listen to guilt tripping asian commercials and stop taking you for granted :)

-Angera

Wednesday Thursday Friday?!!??!

2012-01-13T00:08:00.001-08:00

room smells like dog food.]

cleaning out the closet

2012-01-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

i still daydream

famiry

2011-12-29T21:16:00.000-08:00

Dad: What does Katherine do for work now? I remember she always good at making da art.
Andrew: I think she does some UI work for an some website company now.
Jackie (looks at dad): So UI means user interface which is like-(pause)
Dad:O_O
Andy: don't bother, you lost him already

2011-12-24T12:55:00.000-08:00

secret to success...

2011-12-20T19:17:00.000-08:00

Find something you really like and get good at it

AWW YEAAAHHH. boss likes my email.

2011-12-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

you know what this means?!!! im on top of the world!

and its now

2011-12-19T21:39:00.000-08:00

deep in the crevices of everything you try to deny, when you miss the very things you hate missing.

Sincerely, shamefully yours
-champagne-gelA

one of my hobbies

2011-12-18T15:13:00.000-08:00

is blanket making for my baby nieces/nephews :) Happy first Christmas Sasha and Stella!

"Colette Signature Scarf Print Large Wristlet"

2011-12-17T19:05:00.000-08:00

Now I don't consider myself to be too materialistic but for the last year i've been wanting a wristlet but have not been able to find one I really like. Lloyd complains I'm too picky. They are either too big, too small, too pink, too boring, but most often they are just too ugly. I finally found one I really like but can't find it in stores anywhere -___-

pretty sure my bro has me for secret santa. if anyone sees these in stock anywhere in this color let me know so I can nudge him a link :)

the last 36 hours in flashes

2011-12-16T01:43:00.001-08:00

Goodbye cape town, you've been far too good to me. I'm going to miss your trees and your hills and your tiger tiger clubs and astern bazaar buffet. The way you say "robots" instead of "street lights" and the cute way you prefer to "queue here". I'm glad to have checked off the Lion's head and Table Mountain, but having that empty square next to "devil's peak" leaves something to be desired. A vengeance, perhaps, for an unspecified date to come.

no one was around. i was sitting on the dirty mottled carpet on floor 15 of the perspectives building. In that lonely chairless cheerless atrium, 9 floors away from my belongings... this was the only spot I could get internet. When I opened the email, I think I yelped quite loudly. I looked to the left, looked to the right- but still no one except for the fire exit whom I coolly acknowledged.

With no phone access and broken skype, I couldn't call my family or friends nor could I even holla to my hostess, as she was working in the city hospital for several more hours. So, in this deserted little room I celebrated internally and basked in the quiet celebration of social media.

after a trying 30 hour journey home, I received this as a final welcome home gift:

I DO NOT LIKE YOU VERY MUCH, you fast food eating mariscos stuffing unprincipled slimy credit card thief!! Gave me quite the heart attack but THANK YOU citicards for taking care of this :)

been a crazy 36 hours

table mountain

2011-12-10T04:23:00.000-08:00

to quote the great childish gambino...

2011-12-07T08:41:00.000-08:00

lol this email was sent to the entire aids office (huge department)...cracked me up :)

2011-11-23T23:38:00.000-08:00

in the words of Dr. Hsu himself

2011-11-15T22:00:00.001-08:00

"ANGERA. TODAY I HAD A PATIENT WHO MADE ME SO PROUD OF ME TODAY"

can't get over it.

2011-11-11T08:13:00.001-08:00

I'm leaving for south africa in 20 days to help host a research workshop that I'm interning for. Originally, my boss said I couldn't go because the program didn't have funding for me but I fought pretty hard and pulled out every card I had to try and convince them to take me. I even offered to pay for my flight ticket (>$1600 by now) and offered to find my own housing. In the last week, my plans for the latter fell through so many times I seriously felt like I might be homeless. After a dramatic, exhausting, and desperate search I returned to my boss with a list of dinky hostels and their prices. I put my puppy dog face on and asked whether my program could afford to house me in a humbly $20/night hostel a few miles away. I guess my puppy face works pretty good because the funding worked out better than I could have expected. I will be staying in the Vineyard Hotel with the other faculty and scholars attending the workshop. Wala:

Finding out about this yesterday, I was completely blown away. I am really, really, really fortunate. How did I get this lucky? Not only in this housing situation, but in the whole situation in general. How did I end up having this opportunity to go to south africa? How did I end up having the opportunity to help out in this workshop in the first place? How did I get my internship @ the HIV research section in the San Francisco Department of Public Health?

In May, I applied for two parallel summer internships at the SFDPH. I was dying to have the research assistant position, and I randomly threw in another application for the social media position. I was sure the latter was going to be a long shot given my skills and focus, but I threw it in for kicks because it sounded like it would be fun and what is there to lose?

When I had my phone interview for the research position, I choked up so bad I turned pink while I was talking.

"What's your greatest weakness"
"Ermm..Umm...sometimes i get pretttyy busy and cant handle my schedule" (facepalm)

"okay.. um.. so. We often interact with members of the LGBT community. Can you speak about your experiences with the LGBT community?"
"durrr....urr..um... freshman year... (some crap about having my former hallmate being gay that didnt make sense or sound impressive at all)"- instant palmface, and internal bashing.

I hung up, and was not called back for an in person interview (as expected). A few days later, I checked my inbox and found an email that literally changed my life

What is this... a second chance?! I prepared so hard for this interview, asked my brother to grill me, lived in my room for 2 days reciting all of the questions I could think of to my reflection in the mirror...and when it came time for the interview I literally "W0W"-ed my boss over the phone. Lesson learned- NEVER wing an interview. I cannot stress the importance of being prepared for an interview. It makes the difference. I dont know if you read this, my friends... but Amy, Joyce, and Stephen thank you for being my references :) They helped me get through to the interview round when I bought a freakin' $200 suit from BR, trained myself for some grilling, went in for some grilling, then a week later got my acceptance for a 10 week internship starting June. By mid of August, I was dreading the end of my work. I loved what I did, but knew I had to say goodbye. Then, on my last week of work my boss offered me a full time position until next May and I literally started tearing up in happiness. From a shitty phone interview in to a full time position at a place I love... HOW DOES SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPEN?

Once I landed a full time job here, next logical step was housing. After a rough month of housing search, I landed an awesome place in the heart of the city that is close to every single freaking neighborhood in San Francisco and only a 15 minute walk from work. In a sea of >$1200/month options I found this place for a price that is cheaper than my Berkeley housing was. All the girls I live with are awesome. I got rebecca to live with me, even. HOW DOES SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPEN?

Fast forward 3 months later, and now I get to travel to South Africa for work and live in a ludicrously pimped out hotel and spa. Originally, my thoughts on South Africa were "Sweet. I get to go, this is awesome. Too bad I don't know anyone who lives there or anything about the area." Within a day, I found out Mo, my freshman year RA..is going to be in town for the exact dates I'm going to be there. Within a week, I found out Judy's good friend is in Cape Town and was willing to help me out if I needed anything. Within that same week, Austin's mom contacted me telling me she just travelled to South Africa for 3 weeks and wanted to help me plan my travels and inform me about the area. And here's the shocker. Just yesterday I found out one of my good friends from high school is living in Cape Town for the next two months and offered me to stay with her. She is also my brother's ex-gf.
HOW DOES SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPEN?

I am amazed and grateful for my good fortunes because there is absolutely nothing more I could have asked for. It's too much. During a time when it's been hard for people to even find work, I happened to have a great stroke of luck and it is taking me so far. Everything just fell in place. I hope I always remain thankful for the fortunes that fall into my lap and not take anything for granted. I hope that any unemployed/looking for work friends reading this will please be assured that there's hope in finding that job that just works out for you. if you work hard at it, you can make it happen. Hold out for it =]

2011-11-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

dear ma and pa,

i'm sorry I can be mean to you sometimes. i am too stubborn for my own good. Ironically, think I get it from the both of you. I understand your concerns and worries as parents...in fact it actually makes me feel grateful and lucky that you care so much. It's just that when I talk to you about something I think I'm already in control of, I get pretty short tempered and impatient. I still love you very much though, and will work on the patience thing.

!
A

LA LA LA LA LA

2011-10-30T17:29:00.000-07:00

girl i've been all over the world looooookin for you.

miss these days

2011-10-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

lol

2011-10-24T22:23:00.001-07:00

2011-10-22T22:03:00.001-07:00

VV92T0HWEJOPGBJSDVN!@#$%^&*(

hello from yale!

2011-10-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

bought this interview suit 6 months ago and now I have to squeeze into it... whaaa? i blame all the sitting at work.

200

2011-10-19T19:57:00.001-07:00

I've gotten a lot of comments that I have a lot of profile pictures. yes, i agree. this is a fact.
BUT.
I would like to take a minute to deny the notion that my facebook profile picture collection, now 200 deep, is the product of narcissism. If i were really THAT in love with myself you'd see a lot more of those pouty-lipped-sepia-toned-eyelash-batting-make-up-caked-on-pose-in-the-mirror pictures...but nah, that is not me. That's not my style.

I'm not in love with my self as much as I am with my memories. My 200 profile pictures are kind of like a photographic time capsule, if you will. A collection that unknowingly started 6 years ago just grew into something I saw as an opportunity to keep track of my favorite people and moments. It tracks the history of my friendships, joys, dreams, and all the changes that happen in between. Not many people would understand the personal sentiment that a photo like this carries, but when I look back on it all the good memories I've had beating down these shoes come back:

Few people understand how much I LOLed when I was inspired to reproduce the famous 7 legged spider

Only one person really understands incredible emotional turmoil I felt this day:

Nor what a crazy night this was:

Sometimes I get a little self conscious and think "Wow. I really have THAT many profile pictures? People must think I've got a huge crush on myself...." But then I remember everything I believe in this very post and realize that as long as I know what my intentions then why should anyone else have any bearing on how I feel about a very personal-albeit public- collection.

without skipping a beat.

2011-10-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

"You had a very public revelation about your own private life. Do you ever think that a kid in the audience, a teenager, might look up to you hear you talk about behavior and think...well Jesse fooled around... why's he telling me I can't? He's a hypocrite!"

"Ima suggest to them that we use our experiences to teach. Every football coach has fumbled a ball. It doesn't make him less of a coach. Sometimes it's your own experience that gives you the power to speak. And to speak truth to crisis in ways that matter. And when you do that, you become...believable."

-Jesse Jackson

2011-10-17T23:02:00.001-07:00

everything...hurts...everywhere...

reposted from Caren

2011-10-15T08:29:00.001-07:00

I loved the book, The BFG

October 13th, 2011 § 1 Comment

“Giants isn’t eating each other either, the BFG said. Nor is giants killing each other. Giants is not very lovely, but they is not killing each other. Nor is crockadowndillies killing other crockadowndillies. Nor is pussy-cats killing pussy-cats.

‘They kill mice,’ Sophie said.

‘Ah, but they is not killing their own kind,’ the BFG said. ‘Human beans is the only animals that is killing their own kind.’

‘Don’t poisonous snakes kill each other?’ Sophie asked. She was searching desperately for another creature that behaved as badly as the human.

‘Even poisnowse snakes is never killing each other,’ the BFG said. ‘Nor is the most fearsome creatures like tigers and rhinostossterisses. None of them is ever killing their own kind. Has you ever thought about that?’

Sophie kept silent.

‘I is not understanding human beans at all,’ the BFG said.’ You is a human bean and you is saying it is grizzling and horrigust for giants to be eating human beans. Right or left?’

‘Right,’ Sophie said.

‘But human beans is squishing each other all the time,’ the BFG said. ‘They is shootling guns and going up in
aerioplanes to drop their bombs on each other’s heads every week. Human beans is always killing other human beans.’

He was right. Of course he was right and Sophie knew it. She was beginning to wonder whether humans were actually any better than giants. ‘Even so,’ she said, defending her own race, I’ think it’s rotten that those foul giants should go off every night to eat humans. Humans have never done them any harm.’

‘That is what the little piggy-wig is saying every day,’ the BFG answered. ‘He is saying, “I has never done any harm to the human bean so why should he be eating me?’”

‘Oh dear,’ Sophie said.

‘The human beans is making rules to suit themselves,’ the BFG went on. ‘But the rules they is making do not suit the little piggy-wiggies. Am I right or left?’

‘Right,’ Sophie said.

‘Giants is also making rules. Their rules is not suiting the human beans. Everybody is making his own rules to suit himself.”
― Roald Dahl, The BFG

2011-10-14T19:25:00.000-07:00

Another one of those inexplicably emo dog days

chillin' on transit

2011-10-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

Hodgepodge of thoughts
1. Another one of those days where I miss my longer locks. I'm gauging itll be a year till its long enough to be called long.
2. Omw to see u. Even in the midst of the the silliest squabbles you still make me giggle with the things you say.
3. I won some random $300 prize for entering this raffle for American laser. Yes as in like cosmetic work/ hair removal crap. They keep calling me telling me to come in, but quite frankly I think I prefer to stay away from the laser...
4. Even after the move why am i still behind on my priorities!
5*: I sure hope they mean it when they say good things happen to those who wait.

October

2011-09-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

Goal: Finish 3 books. Come on, I can do this. Rebecca keep me in check!

8

2011-09-30T00:16:00.001-07:00

h8 this number so much right now.

since you're scared of being on my profile picture..

2011-09-29T20:19:00.001-07:00

Hi!!!!

2011-09-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

9/21/11 :) there is hope

"HATE" not "HEIGHT"

2011-09-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

For a long and arduous 10 weeks of the summer I followed the same daily pattern:

wake up, go to class or study at 9, bart to work by 11, come back around 7, swim, study, write secondary essays, sleep. wake up and do the same thing M-F and try not to fall behind. It was pretty hard trying to manage all of that in my waking hours, and I was pretty sad I didn't get to hang out with my litto roomates more :\. The balance between full time work/school/secondaries was a full time job but luckily an expiration date dangled ahead: August 12th. On this sacred date, my anatomy final would be over, my secondaries would be pretty much complete, and my summer internship would end.

All of these events were great news except for the last one- I really loved my internship and was genuinely sad to leave. So when my awesome bawse invited me to stay until next spring, I literally jumped out of my seat in surprise. I felt blindsided by a roundhouse punch to the stomach, except it was awesome and exciting instead of painful! I was not expecting it at all. Now that I was done with the school/application work, I could finally put all my eggs in one basket and focus my resources on something I really enjoyed.

Despite the great news, there was one splinter in the plan. My lease in Berkeley was over. My work was in San Francisco. My home is in San Jose. With only a weekend (in vegas!) before my full time work started, I got my ass on craigslist and find a place to live...

And SO began a very messy situation. After Vegas/LA, I packed up all my belongings from bittersweet 2121 Durant and moved them back to cupertino. I joined the 3 hours commute club to SF all while trying to kiss ass of the leaseholders in SF. The commute became such a pain I ended up temporarily crashing with my cousin in the marina district (loveley view, by the way), still spending a considerable amount of time on craigslist/going to open houses, etc.

During this time, I learned a valuable lesson. Not having a home base really fudges with your lifestyle. Lacking the resources and free time that comes with having a home made me feel really unhealthy. I couldn't cook so I ate out most of the time. In addition, with mornings and nights now committed to transit, I rarely had time to run. This totally put my schedule out of whack and made me seriously reconsider whether I could pull off a marathon in a month -__-

For about a month I was in really shifty housing, and was getting super desperate to find somewhere to live. After dealing with about a hundred failed craigslist fiascos I finally found my love. It was a cute flat by duboce park, sandwiched by the golden gate park only a mile west and work a mile east! The neighborhood is called Lower Haight, which unbeknownst to me a few weeks ago, is pronounced like "HATE."The roomates seemed chill, the price was ridiculously handsome, and the location made it golden. While it was still within the vicinity of exciting city life, my neighborhood itself pretty much fit the definition of quaint.

Little did I know what tease this would be. For 3 weeks I waited on the girls to give me green light. They insisted they liked me, but had to meet up with some other potential tenants before they could make a decision. FOR THREE weeks they kept me on edge. This is eternity for someone who is looking for a place, really. My cousin even said "if they liked you, they would have given you the place on the spot." Harsh reality sucked. I was just about to fold after waiting for so long...but alas! On a random groggy night after watching Captain America, the girls called me over again and within a few days we had sealed the deal.

Fantastic.
-------
Saturday
This weekend I finally moved in. Yesterday my family helped me turn in an empty room into my very own niche, complete with a queen size bed, dresser, armchair, and good ol' carpet. To celebrate we had some deep dish pizza from little star :).
Then, I finally had my first "real" night out in the city yesterday and came home to my new... home :)

--------------
Sunday:
This morning I walked to safeway (yes its walking distance!) and explored some of the castro area before heading out to last minute race at golden gate park. Made some new friends and met some cool people.

---
Monday
25 minutes. It takes 25 minutes to walk from my place to work. Not SUPER close, but good enough to get a breezy walk in :). After a pretty good day at work

I headed to the golden gate park to get some miles in. Despite marginal blindness (contacts are still @ home) I got another taste of just how excellent this city is. Well aware that I am a new San Franciscan, I'd like to state my humble opinion that what makes San Francisco so excellent is the full spectrum of personalities. San Francisco is so diverse. Each neighborhood has such a different feel that as you go from east to west, north to south- you feel like you're traversing a small country. For instance, although they are separated by just a few blocks:
Cow Hollow- land of old couples, doggie grooming salons, and post grad sorority and frat boys. If you are rich and white, you may just fit in great here
Civic Center- Judging by the title, you may assume that the Mayor resides in a district of luxury...or at least pretty decent sidewalk sanitation? While the civic center plaza itself is nice, human defecation is spotted quite regularly on the sidewalks. If there is a strip club on your left, a liquor store on the right, and you are wondering if that's urine you smell, it probably is -__-. Hey this is where I work!

In addition, SF is really a collection of microclimates. Golden gate park/richmond/sunset is notorious for its cloudy weather although the fog's been lifting more generously these days. I hear the summer in San Francisco comes around about now, and gets really warm for a short few weeks. South of market/mission is sunny side up, and if you're walking down van ness the wind might just hit you from behind and knock you over (either that or a mugger will!) heh heh...sorry, that was in poor taste.

I really love it here. I hope I never forget how lucky I am to have this. I guess it worked out, and I guess good things happen to people who wait. And I hope I am right to have faith in this.

2011-09-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

2011-09-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

when you feel like a lowly intern who just messes up everything, its the small things that count..:)

my commute today

2011-09-05T00:43:00.000-07:00

home, bart, work in oakland, SF, all in a day's work. first time lasso-ing the bay in one day! good thing i didn't get lost and drive it again halfway then not make it back home.

heh heh

brat confession

2011-09-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

i wish my mother understood the value of using fabric softener :(

2011-09-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

Housing...more specifically leaseholders who make me wait for weeks.. has made my life much less less convenient. My goodness I hope I get it.

july august phone pixures. images are scaled to proportion of life consumption. i was not lying about the housing hunt.

2011-08-30T21:50:00.000-07:00

"Smile, Walk Tall, Dress Sharp"

2011-08-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

reddit can be good for many things

2011-08-26T19:00:00.001-07:00

frustrated.

2011-08-25T22:14:00.001-07:00

someone please interview me? :(

reposted from kevin

2011-08-10T09:45:00.001-07:00

SLEEP: THE ULTIMATE TEASE

2011-08-10T00:47:00.001-07:00

want it most when you know you can't have it

Happy post

2011-08-08T10:11:00.001-07:00

i work with the most bestest looking awesomest nicest handsomest gay men I have ever met

2011-08-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

i sure hope my co-workers do not find this blog, im sure there are many embarassing things posted here

Arrogance

2011-08-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

I generally avoid from making extremist statements. But I think I have come to the conclusion that arrogance is the one personality trait that I hate most in people.

Arrogance not in the sense that "I am good at doing _______ and I know it." Sometimes that is just being confident and that is okay. If you are a professional football player, then you might say "I am good at playing football" well...duh how would you be a pro if you weren't good? I'm okay with that statement, its the simplest way to get the point across. That single statement itself doesn't convey arrogance.

Arrogance annoys me the most when it is used as a way to elevate yourself above others. Whether it is in your language, your word choice, your tone, your actions, the minute you say "I am better than you, because I am a professional football player" I lose a lot of respect for you

"I am well read. I always score well on tests. I am an adept learner. I am smart"
VS
"I am well read. I always score well on tests. I am an adept learner. I am smart, smarter than you. Therefore I am better than you."

the latter annoys me to pieces!!!!! I hate that attitude, and I'm hypersensitive and critical when I pick up on that undertone from people. Perhaps I am too sensitive. Anyway, I have a slight confession to make. A tangential and selfish reason I want to succeed is so that the people who compare themselves to someone they think less of using some arbitrary criteria..will have a reason to stop acting that way and shove it up their chimney!!! >.-

**edit. I suppose my reference to football players was a subconscious reflection of the ones I met in the training room. For someone who worked so closely with a very serious football team, I have a very incompetent understanding of football. I am fairly clueless about the logistics of the game and the players and their statuses in the industry.

While I don't particularly like being ignorant about it, I find it has helped me to really interact with each individual on an unbiased and level playing field (lol see what i did there?). One of my favorite players (now in the NFL!) is someone I like so much because of his characteristic modesty. The day I first met him, he was sitting on a bench in the training room and I asked him what his name was. "Mike" he said and introduced himself, asked me about myself, and spoke very politely. He was one of those people who seemed kind hearted from the start, a "gentle giant" if you may.

Finding out he was one of the most valuable assets to the team was a pleasant surprise and made me view him even more admirably. It makes me happy when people who exist in such a status retain their humility towards others.

itch itch itch itch itch itch itch itch

2011-08-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

I AM SO ITCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.>

pity questions

2011-08-01T09:49:00.003-07:00

I haven't checked my formspring in a really long time, so I was really excited to find I had a question in my inbox. Then I read it...

... I think formspring actually feels bad for my ronery account..

still holding a grudge

2011-07-31T11:15:00.000-07:00

on the (speaker) phone with my brother and mother

Angela: Mom! I'm still mad you cut my hair. I told you to trim it and you cut off like four inches!!
--silence--
Mom: Uh oh.
Angela (in head): what is she actually saying sorry?
Andy: Just so you know she's not saying uh oh because of your hair. She just saw a fly on the wall.

"Frankenstein Cat"

2011-07-31T10:31:00.000-07:00

rofl-d.

2011-07-31T01:30:00.000-07:00

i am trying not to hate, trying not to stereotype. but cannot help but be annoyed at the moment.

+ fobby fobs who talk loudly, wear expensive yet tasteless clothing, and have obnoxious hair.
+ middle school brat girls who wear "princess" scripted in rinestones on their shirts

joke joke joke

2011-07-29T00:25:00.000-07:00

what object do I use every day that is louder than a lawnmower??

-----

MY LAPTOP!!!! LOLOL...wait but no really.

would like to upgrade i am getting very annoyed -__- (first world problem)

morning rambles

2011-07-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

these days, I have been quite compelled to just unfriend people. It's not a matter of spite, but a feeling I get.

Like someone's name will appear on my newsfeed and my reactionary response will be reflective of how I inherently feel about them. And for some people, I feel either some sort of nagging dislike or aloofness towards and I feel the need to just take out a pair of scissors and snip.

After graduating, I have been a lot more forward about doing this. Why do I need someone I don't like/ don't know well peeking at all the information I spill online? Why are they in my friends category if they really should be "distant aquaintance" I mean... the fear used to be that if you burn this bridge then you will surely encounter them in the future and they will think "OH MY GAWD YOU DEFRIENDED ME YOU JERK"
but when is the next time I'm going to run into that girl I went to camp with 4 years ago? Or why do I put up with seeing the face of someone I don't like on my newfeed all the time?

burning bridges has such a negative connotation. Sounds like you are murdering a relationship. Really, fb defriending is just covering that peephole that lets people you don't know so well peek into your life. so take advantage of that...

---
angela, you dork. i cant believe you just wrote a post about facebook friending.

woke up this morning, clouded with my doubts

2011-07-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

mmmhhh

Faith in strangers

2011-07-22T23:20:00.001-07:00

Today I was walking down Van Ness with some co-workers and a disturbing thing happened. I heard a loud quick scream and looked 10 feet to my right and found an old emaciated woman being squished by bus doors. The automated doors had accidentally shut on her and she was too frail and weak to escape. To make matters worse, she had a full leg brace and was on crutches. As soon as I looked up I was shocked to see what was going on, and instinctively ran up to help open the door for her. My co worker joined and the woman eventually freed herself. It all happened pretty quickly and I focused on the task at hand, but could NOT HELP BUT NOTICE this one man who had been right in front of the woman when it happened, but did nothing. He was doing nothing when the woman was being squished, and he continued to do nothing when my co worker and I pried the doors open.

I mean, come on! In the words of my co-worker "what a dick!"

Luckily, my faith in strangers has been redeemed by a few other meaningful instances this week.

1. This Monday I was headed out of the bart car when I saw a blind man, no older than 30, having trouble getting out of the station. I walked past him, unsure about what to do. I was half way up the escalator when I said to myself "what the heck are you doing angela, HELP HIM, DURRR!" I ran back, and timidly peeked past the pillars to see if the guy was still there. He was, but now he was holding the arm of a middle aged gentleman who was leading him to the right direction. Seeing this, I remember feeling just...like super warm inside. Once I got back on the escalator I kept turning back to look at the man, and signaled my approval with a huge grin him. He didn't see it, so I kept turning back to grin, then i felt really kind of creepy so I stopped. I walked slowly after leaving the escalator, and saw that the man continued to wait for his new blind companion, elbow out and ready to help. What a man.

2. At the SF Pride I met this girl named Jasmine. Total stranger, who happened to interject during my conversation with another person on my team. We ended up going to Starbucks together because it was really early and for the next few hours we just... sat around and talked. Fast forward, it's a month later and she's leaving for Columbia tomorrow. We decide to meet up for dinner and she goes out of her way to meet me after work, bart to a place that is convenient to me, then spills out nothing but support and advice for my pre-med application. She asks for nothing in return. She is a kind genuine soul and I hope to see her again.

getting tired so going to make these next two very brief

3. On the way back from SF to Berkeley, an elderly hispanic looking woman sits next to me, with a HUGE boquet of flowers. She sits down and I comment "they smell good" to which she responds with a huge smile. We continue to converse in broken Spanglish for a good 10 minutes, and she tells me about how she moved from Nicaragua 20 years ago, her daughter is a nurse who performed heart surgery on her own child, and that she teaches dance classes at the 5th floor in the Bank of America (at least that's what I interpreted-i may have not understood everything).

i realize I really like talking to strangers. I want to meet more.

2011-07-21T01:31:00.000-07:00

So I barely know you buti I think I already love you. I hope that we can be good friends some time. I hope I can watch you grow up and maybe help save the world from some of the dissapointments and horrors we talked about. I am so glad I got to live with you- you are the type of real person I have wanted to meet for such a long time.
...
.

..
Well that wasn't creepy at all.

2011-07-19T02:38:00.000-07:00

i am very glad when good things happen to good and humble people, and that whatever fate out there (if existent) sees through the almost flawless fakers

2011-07-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

"i just wanted to let you know that you are my favorite person in the world!"

i would like to take this minute out of my day to relish in the fact that despite my constant complaints about school and work and apps... I am extremely happy these days. not just content, more than satisfied. Actually. Really. Happy.

<3

The unfortunate truth.

2011-07-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

As terrible as this sounds, applying to medical school (or many other things, for that matter) has a strange way of making you wish you were disadvantaged.

ROARR

2011-07-16T23:45:00.001-07:00

my apologies for being a massive flake. 40 hour workweek/school/apps makes it hard for me to make sure I give friends their allotted slice of the pie. By the end of august i hope to make it all up, really :\

Run (Snow Patrol/Leona Lewis Cover) By Alexa Goddard

2011-07-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

i gotta feeling..... ..... ... .. .

2011-07-13T23:11:00.000-07:00

2011-07-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

okay so this might be kind of weird, but when I listen to the instrumental version a song I am familiar with, I have a DISTINCT sensation of eating pancakes without syrup. complete with imagery and taste. my own version of synesthesia, i guess

2011-07-12T14:38:00.000-07:00

another absurd yet normal work annoucnement

gonna try some of these

2011-07-12T00:26:00.001-07:00

reposted from caren

2011-07-10T23:22:00.001-07:00

done it all!

2011-07-07T21:23:00.001-07:00

go to a peruvian drag queen's birthday celebration, complete with ice cream cake. check.

quite late

2011-07-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

arguably better than with lyrics- just listen

2011-07-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

"Don't let your feelings be anyone else's option"

2011-06-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

On getting hit on

2011-06-27T21:59:00.001-07:00

dear predators, two tips:

1) when prey deliberately tries to avoid eye contact, do not pursue.
2) if elementary steps of pursuit are successful, when prey puts on glasses do not say "oh you have glasses?.. I guess that's okay" a short pause will occur, followed by no success.

pet peeve #1873256

2011-06-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

people who constantly interrupt you! how frustrating, especially since sometimes they are very nice people who are just oblivious of it so you get confused and can't be mad at them :\??

(pet peeve applies especially when you are listening to gr8 song and they keep talking over it)

going to start moar videoblogging

2011-06-26T17:51:00.000-07:00

meanwhile, in the Hsu household...

....................yeeboi.

If it's not like the movies, that's how it should be.

2011-06-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

welcome, new roomate!

2011-06-23T22:29:00.001-07:00

be a superhero!

2011-06-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

New shirts came in for SF pride

work and food

2011-06-23T16:40:00.001-07:00

I've come to realize that food often plays an important role in the workplace. For instance when I worked @ stadium, players and SMI alike would carry on from prepractice, practice, and post practice with the thought of nice warm training table to look forwards to afterwards. Here at work its no different. Last Thursday there was a pizza party for research team meeting, and the day after was a giant fudge chocolate cake for celebration of HTVN awards. This monday there was an intern lunch with salmon and quionoa salad, and the day after there was industrial amounts of naan and curry as leftovers from a committee advisory group. Today there are 3 tubs of fried chicken as leftovers from a community forum. I just came back from eating cake at an employee's farewell party. i feel so spoiled! but im not complianing...:D

random musing...my last three jobs have all had pretty much the same initials (SM)
SM for security Monitor for unit 3 before coming a
SMI Sports Medicine Intern for cal athletics and now I'm a
SMI Social Media Intern. kewl. iguess.

2011-06-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

Bart is late so I'm going to blog on my phone. First time!!
OK where to start
1. I don't think anyone really understands how upset I am at my mother. I aklsked her to trim my hair,TRIM my hair. Then she goes and cuts like 3 or 4 inches of my hair off. I honestly can't stand it!!! It took me so long to grow my hair and wasn't ready for goodbye :'(
2. I just cranked out my first draft of a blogpost I'm writing for the HIV research section of SF. Hope my bawse likes it.
3. If u are by thr civic center check out the sF farmers market. Its ferocious (better than the fruit I last had at Saratoga farmers market! They also have really yummy food trucks to try. Wed and sun-be there!
4. I'm starting to stress. I thought secondaries wouldn't come in until late July and august... guess my grapevine was wrong!
5. Just started anatomy onmonday. From here on out its going to be school 8-10 then straight to Bart then work 11-8 then swim till 9. Study

OK Bart here bye

2011-06-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

lol hehehhe i just wrote something really dirty with those word magnets on the work fridge hehe dont tell anyone

i feel so third grade doing this

2011-06-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

but my weekend was pretty good and I want to document it somewhere.

so.

DEAR DIARY,

fryday: (gotta get down its fryday!) celebrated the closure of my second week of work with a pizza party and making sex protection stocking stuffers: condoms, lube, an HIV awareness flyer, and candy. then went out to dinner with boy @ emmy's pizza shack and michelles (?). (note to self: start yelping again!)

Saturday: Originally I was planning on having the BEST ALL DAY HIKE MAYBE EVEN DISCOVER A NEW CONTINENT hike (even packed tons of water, fueled up on gregoirs, and made berkeley bowl trail mix)... but turned into super lame walk around small lake with lots of yucky brushes and no view. So after half an hour we got back into the car and headed to the legendary carousel on top of grizzly peak!

Ate some overpriced cotton candy,went on an overpriced ride, then went back to cupertino to eat trail mix while watching james bond flirt with some nice ladies on TV. Then came home to chill with the old homeboys who wanted to go to frat party in Berkeley- which was actually kind of fun! Had some quality 101 with Mr. Bill and ended up catching up with my dad's fishing BFF there over a game of pong. lawl. small world

Sunday: SPEAKING Of father.. HEPPY FATHERS DAY! After two years of carrying my tiny beat up toy phone, my family finally went out to renew phone plans. I got this new nexus, which is a sexy piece of sex:

SO PRETTY, now i just gotta figure out how to use it "-.-. The best part was that my parents both got smartphones and they are so technologically challenged that it is just cute watching them try to figure out how to use the phone. example

Case a
cell phone dude: okay so enter in your email address
mom: okay. i am good at techonorogy. j-i-e-u.... there's no N on this phone!

case b
dad: okay so since this is a touchscreen, can i just use my finger to write chinese character on the screen? how i do that?

After cell phones, my fam and I went to five guys for some burgers and, as always, my siblings and I were all embarrased at our parents' behavior. Ma went straight for the free peanuts and carried 5 trays back to our table. She then took 2 trays home. typical -__-. After dinner, had a celebration dessert and gave my pops some well needed shoes. Then, I asked my ma for a trim which I guess she thinks mean cut off as much hair as she wants, thank you mohther.

Drove back to berkz, met my roomates (omg there are 6 girls living in this house that only 4 lived in last year. so much estrogen) and got settled in.

Tomorrow: start first day of anatomy and back to 25 van ness.

2011-06-19T14:06:00.001-07:00

when i try to access my page i often type: roarim20.berkeley.edu

it's quite disgusting.

anyway: note to self... supplement, supplement, supplement.

2011-06-19T04:44:00.001-07:00

ebbing out of my tipZness..

SO. i just came back from a PA PHI party a(yeahhh laugh all you want I'm a graduated senior who just went to a frat party). All in all it was a pretty good experience but it did consecrate in my mind a few solid thoughts

1. I am perpetually awkward in groups of people I don't know or feel the need to impress. Alcohol, though, is often a remedy or at least ameliorates the situation.

2. When my stomach says no, it means no.

As foolish as this sounds, a lot of the time I do believe that alcohol has the effect of making me think extremely clearly. Clearly in the sense that my thoughts are direct and to the point; catered directly towards my most brash and innate desires at the moment. I cut to the point.

I had a good talk with a friend about relationships. I don't feel this is the time to deliberately gush out harbored sentiments, but let this post be a bookmark of a day I learned some things about myself.

jon, where do we get our condoms from?

2011-06-17T12:09:00.001-07:00

:0
lol just heard this over my cubicle.
surprisingly, a very normal question to be asked at work

2011-06-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

so this is totally random, but this is one of my favorite songs in middle school. Surprisingly, a friend just told me about it by chance and I have never heard it on the radio, ever.

stalkystalk

2011-06-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

i did not know you can follow people on google. yesterday i found out. i did not know you all follow me. O___O!

2011-06-15T17:27:00.001-07:00

2011-06-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

bloggin at werk!

1. i bought a bag of coffee candy it will probably be gone at the end of the week
2. costco croissants are the shiT!
3. so warm today. want to swim

dont forget

2011-06-14T00:32:00.000-07:00

i am so tired. this is word vomit. there will be grammar errors i dgaf.

notes to self:

use groupons
mail j
mail other j
ear care stuff for cartilage x(
notebook for HIV notes
figure out to do with EDC tickets
sell examcrackers books to vs

udpate:

hellow. i just finished my second monday of work. yaaaayh. Finally got to meet with my supervisor David who was at the HPTN (HIV prevention trials network) conference for the past few weeks.

I'm really liking work so far. I'm finally done with the human subjects training and other of the logistical stuff and finally get to start doing research on some aspect of HIV prevention that I will update for the section's official blog. So far, I'v really been enjoying the brown bag lunches/educational seminars. There are some amazing docs at the HIV research section, and hearing them speak about the developments in HIV prevention, treatment, and vaccine trials I find quite fascinating actually.

The people I work with are all really fun loving. Most of them are from the bay, and i'd have to say like 80% of the staff I work with is homosexual. Nothing wrong with it, just I've never worked in such an environment. They are super friendly and welcoming. I'm not at the point where I would go and hang out with any of them after work, so I tend to just head back to berk after the long shift.

After spending the last 3 days in non stop company with all the hsus and the bro in law I haven't really been lonely. But walking to the bart on my way home, at like 8PM as the sun was setting... I definitely fell into a small slump. Where was the warmth and comfort of the people I am most comfortable with? For the first time in a long while it felt really weird to not have those people to come home to.

But when I actually got back to berk it didn't take long for me to shake that feeling off. My friends were still here, waiting to spend time with me :) What a brat I am to have forgotten this. Having been @ home for so long, I spent most of my free time with one person. I guess this 50 mile difference has actually been pretty good for me; I needed that shove to reinvest in old friends instead of ringing lloyd's doorbell to troll him every day.

okay tomorrrow's a big day! actually not really, but kind of. I am meeting with professor machen tomorrow to finish off my final LOR. I am pretty excited to be done with the app, but i know secondaries are going to pour in as soon as I blink -___-

also, my hair is growing pretty long. Debating whether to trim it or let it grow even longer.

my stomach hurts :( chih ming why did you feed me that grapefruit after swimming.

2011-06-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

many times i just wish i could get into your head and hear what you are thinking. but in the end, the things I hear will probably leave me dissatisfied.

so i guess i am okay with not knowing.

6:57 pm

2011-06-10T18:57:00.001-07:00

30 minutes left in my shift. im hungry. and scared. because i am the only person still here on the floor working O__O

HAI WURLD

2011-06-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

HI erryone. Lots to blog for today; the last few days were kinda eventful. lacking the energy to be creative here so im going to bullet

-Finally submitted my AMCAS. Yes.

- Last Thurs went to get pho with Vu and got some pretty badass food poisoning (i think)? woke up at 2, 4, 8, and 10 for some glorious puking sessions (noodles and tiny chunks of meat included). My entire body was exhausted. It sucked. But at the same time it was kinda cool becuase i never got food poisoning before. Turns out Lloyd had all the same symptoms yesterday (including bi-hourly puking)! so maybe I had stomach flu??

-Started my first day of work as the Social Media Coordinator for the HIV research section of the SF dept. of public health. I am slowly familiarizing myself with a few different websites ( sfisready.org is one of the better made ones, imho). To familiarize myself with how to use the social media website I will be working with this summer I made an experimental blags/twitter. Nothing interesting to look at, more for me to play with.

www.mOfnmonster.wordpress.com
www.twitter.com/mOfns

-My co-workers are splendidly awesome. So far there are only two interns my around my age (Jen and Kevin) but the work on a different floor :( Luckily, Sersha, Dr. Fuchs,Jonathan, Aaron, and all of the other nice (NOT to mention good looking ;) employees are super nice to me.

-Moved back into an empty 2121. I am currently without internet and will be challenged to finish this post doubletime speed by the time sonoma closes (in 5 min!!)

-One thing I realized is that I hate not moving. I like my job except for the fact that I don't get to talk to enough people (hopefully this changes soon) and also, since my job is a social media intern, my domain is the cpu. And since my domain is the CPU I sit all day. I hate that part. I am going to try and keep moving by trying to get out asap so I can hit the pool before it closes at 9, but we'll see how feasible that is :\

okay goodbye. closing time.

already on fb but in dire need of a repost

2011-06-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

i would give a month of my life to curl under the covers and be 8 again, watching these QUALITY shows on TV with my siblings while my mom made kimbap in the kitchen

can't post power rangers or batman -____--

mild spoiler (no longer a spoiler, been cenosred 8)).

2011-06-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

i reposted this on my fb like a million times then i felt bad for possibly mildly spoiling the movie

in a nutshell: x men first class= great movie! I have particularly strong affinity because my bros and sis would all watch this show on fox kids when we were all runts (13+ years ago!)

YET, when _______ dies I cannot help but wonder..

why does the b_ack guy always die first?

no congratulations, balloons, or happy faces.

2011-06-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

stay classy, amcas. stay classy.

meandering thoughts

2011-05-28T22:09:00.000-07:00

i think if i were to create my own dream society, every job would have a summer break. every employee at every firm, clinic, governmental establishment... would get a few months off just to explore and do what they want to do. Its a really sad day when people become content with knowing exactly what they will be doing that day.

mew mew mew.

2011-05-27T21:29:00.001-07:00

drawing a _____________________

silly thought

2011-05-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was in middle/high school I used to go on AIM and feel so keWL and pOPulAr when I had a lot of chat windows open. Over time, I realized that the satisfaction derived from friendship is far from a numbers game.

sup, real world

2011-05-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

credits, as always, to connie chen photography ^^