imma go get it.

the plan is still in the making, but it looks a little something like this:

one day, i want to be able to fix people. Ideally, they'd be athletes. They'd tell me about the pain in their splitting shins, how much it hurts and how badly they want it to stop. As I fixed the pain I would tell them to not worry because I know exactly what it means to feel like a crumbling athlete but to be the best you must go through the worst.

Ideally, I would start with a small team and it would be stellar if I could work my way up to the big dogs. I'd travel with them, cheer them on, and tape 'em up as I watched them run, swim, kick, throw, bike, punt from my special bench on the sidelines. I would stitch their wounds cleanly, with years of sophistication and great care operating my hands. They would ask questions, and instead of referring them to ask the medic, I would be the medic with the answer.

Most of all they would trust me and this trust would challenge me to be responsible, self sacrificing, and dissatisfied unless I had put forward the best of my skills to the best of their health.

--

yeah, i want it so get this fucking hurdle out of the way.

FUDGE MY BROWNIE

i wonder how many times people would get slapped in the face if they vocalized all the thoughts they had in their head.

---

Now that schools is back in session, I've made a few pessimistic observations.

Pessimism #1. When you see familiar face on campus, CHANCES are that even if you know them, you probably haven't missed them that much over this summer break. The ones you miss are the ones you care about, and the ones you care about are the ones that you probably kept some sort of tabs on or communication with over the summer. Then there is eeeeevvvveryone else. They are neither +1 or -1, they are just 0's - neutral bystandards in your life.

You flash back to the last time you saw them, and you realize that was the last time you even thought of them... Their existence has not crossed your mind in a good 3 months, and so when you see them again their impact on you is minimal. In fact, the most impactful observation you can make is that you haven't seen them in a long time, and that's just... that's all. You don't REALLY miss them, and to be honest if they never returned your life would show no change.

When I am with people I like, everything is fine and dandy and fun.

When I am with people I do not like, at least I know I do not like them so there's a definite stance I can take on them. I can avoid dealing with them.

But then there's the other 70%. The neutral acquaintances who you know well enough that an interaction upon passing is obligatory. I hate when I have to plaster on a fake ass smile, or try too hard to resurrect a dead beat up conversation that died last semester with someone who I really share no common ground with. It's REAL tiring

LIFE UPDATE:

Fudge. 7 days till MCAT. I have been studying my ass off the past 10 days and FINALLY cracked today. Was THIS close --> <---- to going out. Ended up restraining myself to the house to get some work done, only to be sidetracked by friend visitors at the house until 2:30 AM (now). So considering today's lack of progress I will label today as my rest day. Hell week begins again tomorrow.

DOUBLE FUDGE. I have to wake up in 3.5 hours and walk to Memorial Stadium where I will enjoy a 5 hour shift wrapping stinky sweaty boys in ice... FUDGE. MY. BROWNIE

-________________-

the only redeeming notion is that one of the football players stopped his car today on telegraph to say hi to me! sweet! only 104 more boys to win over...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

JANICE IS COMING TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

First week back hurrr

edit: i'm a little annoyed. Yesterday a friend totally guilt tripped me, saying "I see how it is" after I told him I could not hang out that day. Today, a friend told me hanging out with me is like "going to the dentist" when I said "lets study together!" in response his idea to bake cookies.

Come. On. "I see how it is" No you do not. When I am not studying I am at the stadium on a 8 hour football shift. Then I come back, run, then study. Of course I want to hang out but these next 2 weeks I am in a pretty obligate relationship with my books. I don't want to take this test again, so please be a friend and try to understand. Please.
---



I finally started my Sports Med Internship for the Cal Football team this past week and it's been the best break from MCAT studying ever.


THE JOB
So far I've been doing a lot of icing, wrapping, ultrasounding, electrical stimulation, making ice bags, giving water, bandaids, etc. I've been working at this training room right by Memorial Stadium, helping the players before, after, and during practice. Saw some pretty nasty injuries so far- this one dude had a fist-sized blister, and this other dude got stitches from practice on monday from running up the bleachers and slipping, landing on his shin (hilariously funny but OUCH). I'm currently learning how to tape feet correctly- there's an art to it that I hope to master by the end of the season.

CO-WORKERS

My co-workers are pretty awesome as well. Very chill people, easy to talk to and fun to be around. One of them is jovial little filipino girl, who has a squeaky demeanor that matches her 14 year old looking face. Another is a tall asian dude who is easy to carry on a fun conversation with. Another girl who has been doing this job for 2 years has a funny bone by nature and always makes funny comments. There's a sassy asian girl who is really considerate and sweet- but one that you know not to get on the bad side of. Then there's Stephen, who was smart enough to join this program after we both heard about it at our winter externship last year. The athletic trainers are funny- already started taking advantage of my apparent gullible-ness (what is the adjective for that word). My immediate boss looks super serious, although I know he has a good sense of humor by the comments he makes. He's a good down- to- business guy who watches out for us.

THE PLAYERS

Are free entertainment. At first I was sort of intimidated to talk to them but they are hilarious. Yesterday one farted really loudly on the field and everyone started looking around saying "wasn't me..." haha. Just today, one of them was complaining about how he was too big to be allowed on the water slide at the water park he went to. Collectively, him and one of his other football player friends had exceeded the weight limit that was set for a slide we wanted to go to-by 200 or so pounds. Although heroic in suit and on the field, they just your normal average human being off the field. For the most part they are well intentioned, nice people (although rough around the edges). They ask me questions about myself during treatments and like to carry on jokes. One of them even yanked my ponytail during practice and walked away innocently when I asked if it was him. I am naturally gravitating towards this link during my study breaks, so I can get faster at matching names with faces:

http://www.calbears.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/cal-m-footbl-mtt.html

THE FOOOOOOOD

I was not aware of this at all before- but they feed us. boy do they feed us. Whatever shift we're working, we can get meals when the football players do. And let me tell you, it puts crossroads and cafe 3 to shame. On my first day, I had a chipotle sized burrito, salad, and ravioli...BEST meal I've eaten all week. And it's SO much that I always have a leftover box to bring home. This is only expected, of course, since the football players have gigantic appetites to match their body size. Right after I finished dinner on Monday I was putting my dishes away when I saw a cafeteria lady walk by, setting up cereal on the serving table. When I asked her if she was getting ready for breakfast the next day, she laughed and replied "this is for their after dinner snack" I LOL-ed. Boy do they have it good here. Right now they are at the Claremont hotel, swimming in their swimming pool. Lucky dudes.

Speaking of food though- I'm pretty sure I've put on at least 5 lbs since coming to Berk last week. Living with boys for a few days + eating out with friends means I've had pizza 3 times in the past 5 days. Plus, eating with the football players pretty much= eating like the football players. I would actually really like to just eat a healthy salad sometime soon... I'm a little sick of heavy meals

THE GAME

In the past week my knowledge of football has increased 100fold. Here are the basics of what I know (very elementary, please don't judge)
OFFENSE:
Offensive line- Protects QB
QB- gets ball after hike, throws to either wide receiver, running back, or tied end. <--(lol. just found out it's spelled "tight" end)
Whoever catches the ball has to run it to the other side in order to score a touchdown.
"Backs" (3): Quarterback, Full back and Tail back


DEFENSE:
Defensive Line: Tries to get to the QB and beat the crap out of him. Blocked by the O-line
Line Backers: yeah not sure what these guys do
Safety: Makes sure O-line doesn't pass them...


FORGIVE ME I AM STILL LEARNING!




SO TO SUM IT UP.. I have been pretty much either studying or helping out the football team since I got here on Sat, and am fairly content to keep it that way until Sept 3. TILL NEXT TIME BLOGGIE,


-me

Let go.

oh what i would give to learn how to do this. and to swim backstroke in a straight line..

and i thought my .28 was anorexic

saw this and had a happy attack. how sad the things that get me excited these days- like really skinny pens. money.

1. when i care, i do absurd things to make sure you know it. its 3:05 am and i just spent the last 3 hours sewing the letters of your name onto this damn fabric. what on earth- i must care one helluva lot.

2. I AM TAKING MY FULL SIZE BED WITH ME BACK TO BERKELEY WHETHER MY MOM LETS ME OR NOT. it will join my new carpet and new lamp and we will start a small family together.

3. Yeah, okay. So its settled- Cupertino you're great and all but your parties will always be inherently sorta kinda awkward....

4. I update this blog way too often. peace out for at least a week!

5. back to HIMYM :)