life gave me a big one of these today
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
DAY THREE
update: I was almost tricked by the m&m cookies that I made, but caught myself! I then proceeded to eat the cookie around the m&m's.
Monday, January 25, 2010
willpower: trial 25637085928304
one of my new years resolutions this year was to swear off chocolate for the month of january. UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNfortunately, a stray m&m flew into my mouth. followed by the rest of his family. completely involuntarily, i was stripped of my resolution's integrity.
begin: willpower, trial dos. abstain from chocolate for the remainder of the month.
Monday, January 11, 2010
hello from fresno!
hi world, these past two days have been hectic. i did some pretty badass shadowing for the ambulance today and will be here till thurs. cant believe that the day before yesterday I was eating ice cream cake at sister's wedding shower (aiyayhhh!!). so much has happened but i need to get some shut eye so i'll make this quick.
my life in a 4 sentence gradient of grim to happy:
i saw a man die in front of me today, and as far as i can remember i think this is the first time my eyes have seen such a thing. he was a complete stranger, so I felt numb and then felt bad for feeling numb.
sometimes it sucks when people let you down.
A cute dress accidentally fell into my bag and i accidentally bought it this keeps happening to me oh darn.
i had to fight real hard to keep that down to four sentences. time to sleep. need to wake up at 5am tmrw for a 24 hour shift in the ambu!
my life in a 4 sentence gradient of grim to happy:
i saw a man die in front of me today, and as far as i can remember i think this is the first time my eyes have seen such a thing. he was a complete stranger, so I felt numb and then felt bad for feeling numb.
sometimes it sucks when people let you down.
A cute dress accidentally fell into my bag and i accidentally bought it this keeps happening to me oh darn.
i had to fight real hard to keep that down to four sentences. time to sleep. need to wake up at 5am tmrw for a 24 hour shift in the ambu!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
i'm such a noob
ahhhh! this blogging thing makes me feel like such a noob. i've tried to add pictures to my post at least 4 times, but they don't show up! and i can't figure out how to do that thingy where you add your friend bloggers and then their names come up on the sidebar so it looks like you're popular and have lots of bloggie-friends. siiigh, i'll figure it out someday.
Kinda makes me feel bad and a little sheepish... my parents always have the hardest time with computers. My mom always needs help editing work papers because microsoft word does some wacky stuff sometimes, and my dad is a two finger typist. Normally when they ask me for help, I am in the middle of doing something, and it's easy for me to get annoyed and snap at them especially when the answer is right there on the screen in front of them. But I know the reason they are asking is because they really just don't see it any I ought to be more patient.
anyhoo, it's 7:55 AM and I've been wide awake for a good hour now. I've never been one to sleep in, and once morning light hits my eyes, I can't go back to sleep. Sometimes, it sucks because I want to sleep in. But most of the time, it's perfect. The morning is my absolute favorite time of day, because thats when the world just feels cleaner and fresher and quieter. I love going on morning runs because that's when things are most calm (even in berkeley! But especially in the cupertino hills). It's one of the most refreshing experiences, and if you sleep in all the time you don't know what you're missing out on. In fact, I think I'll take my camera up to the hills sometime and post some pictures ... if i can figureout how. But really, the best part of the morning is waking and going out to the world under a fresh new pale blue sky, knowing that your day is full of possibilities.
I wish I could go on a run right now, but I think for my own good I'll have to pass. When I got back to Cupertino 2 weekes ago, I went a little to run-happy and put in a lot of milage. I also went back to the track to do some speedwork and ran a timed mile for the first time in 3 years! I 've missed De Anza's old red rubber track, but I think three days of speedwork after a good few months without it was a little to abrupt and my shins are complaining. Time to back off.
That's fine though, since I have a lot of things to take care of today.
TTYL!!!
Kinda makes me feel bad and a little sheepish... my parents always have the hardest time with computers. My mom always needs help editing work papers because microsoft word does some wacky stuff sometimes, and my dad is a two finger typist. Normally when they ask me for help, I am in the middle of doing something, and it's easy for me to get annoyed and snap at them especially when the answer is right there on the screen in front of them. But I know the reason they are asking is because they really just don't see it any I ought to be more patient.
anyhoo, it's 7:55 AM and I've been wide awake for a good hour now. I've never been one to sleep in, and once morning light hits my eyes, I can't go back to sleep. Sometimes, it sucks because I want to sleep in. But most of the time, it's perfect. The morning is my absolute favorite time of day, because thats when the world just feels cleaner and fresher and quieter. I love going on morning runs because that's when things are most calm (even in berkeley! But especially in the cupertino hills). It's one of the most refreshing experiences, and if you sleep in all the time you don't know what you're missing out on. In fact, I think I'll take my camera up to the hills sometime and post some pictures ... if i can figureout how. But really, the best part of the morning is waking and going out to the world under a fresh new pale blue sky, knowing that your day is full of possibilities.
I wish I could go on a run right now, but I think for my own good I'll have to pass. When I got back to Cupertino 2 weekes ago, I went a little to run-happy and put in a lot of milage. I also went back to the track to do some speedwork and ran a timed mile for the first time in 3 years! I 've missed De Anza's old red rubber track, but I think three days of speedwork after a good few months without it was a little to abrupt and my shins are complaining. Time to back off.
That's fine though, since I have a lot of things to take care of today.
- Finish "Black flies", buy and read "rescue 471" by Fresno externship
- Eat with the APO family <--HAHAH funny story, I was searching for a phone number on the APO directory and after I tried signing in, I was greeted with the message:
"Our records currently indicate that you are in bad standing. Please talk to the Membership VP to regain access to the website." - I LOL-ed. It was only a matter of time.
- collect pictures for sister's wedding shower and make slideshow
- WORK ON DARN APPLICATIONS.
Speaking of, I really hate writing personal statements. I haven't written a quality essay in like...4 years and forget what it feels like to re-read a paragraph and say "WOT that was good." Letters of rec are also be a pain to deal with right now.
TTYL!!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
the big 20
i am 20 years and 68 hours old.
yesterday, i laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes. thank you to an unexpected group of friends, i almost for got i could do that.
I've been absent from the bloggin' world for quite some time now and I miss it. For the past few years i've been substituting online journaling with a collection of facebook notes, but they have slowly diminished into video posts of lady gaga and cats drinking milk. After discovering blogs of some newer friends and re-reading posts by old friends, I've been inspired to give it another shot. After all, don't we all need some sort of thought box to foster our ideas?
Before I began this entry, I wondered...what's the difference between having a secret place for your thoughts (say, a private journal) and having a public one that people you know will read (say, this blogspot)? Why on earth would you want to give people a key to your emotions and a peephole into your mind? Doesn't that give complete strangers the prerogative to judge you without even knowing you? And in total anonymity, so that you don't even know who it is that's judging you? Yeah sure it does, anyone has a right to judge. But in the end if they don't really know you, their opinion lacks basis and so it shouldn't even matter.
I suppose one of the many reasons that public journaling is so attractive to bloggers is that you can scream things that you wouldn't scream in public and surprise the world with the thoughts that boil in your head. I guess I've been craving that for some time now.
---
Lately, life has dimmed a bit. I normally look forward to break immensely, but with each break I am a little less excited to come home for reasons I won't get into right now. This entire break was particularly bittersweet, since I have been stressing hard about big kid stuff like what the heck I'm going to be doing in two year. The whole pre-med decision still scares me immensely, and sometimes when I think about it I stress to the point of nausea. I miss high school, when the finish line was college and the goal was simple: get there. Now that we there... there is no one straight path. There is no implied finish line, you gotta figure that out on your own. And that means it's all up to you set your boundaries so that the sky is the limit, and how far you get in life is set by your own endurance. Haha. Game over if you lazy overachiever.
Another task occupying my break: my lovely sister is getting married to one of the coolest boy I have met which is GREAT news but also means a lot of planning, particularly for the wedding shower in less than a week. Fun stuff, but I'm bummed I can't spend as much energy and time on the party planning when applications are always nagging at you.
anyway. it's 8:16 pm right now, and my room looks like a tornado hit it. must clean so i can go to all the...crazy...parties in cupertino...
2010 new years resolutions
1. no chocolate for january
2. keep room clean every day
3. keep better track of the happenings in my life and plan things out better
4. confidence.
yesterday, i laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes. thank you to an unexpected group of friends, i almost for got i could do that.
I've been absent from the bloggin' world for quite some time now and I miss it. For the past few years i've been substituting online journaling with a collection of facebook notes, but they have slowly diminished into video posts of lady gaga and cats drinking milk. After discovering blogs of some newer friends and re-reading posts by old friends, I've been inspired to give it another shot. After all, don't we all need some sort of thought box to foster our ideas?
Before I began this entry, I wondered...what's the difference between having a secret place for your thoughts (say, a private journal) and having a public one that people you know will read (say, this blogspot)? Why on earth would you want to give people a key to your emotions and a peephole into your mind? Doesn't that give complete strangers the prerogative to judge you without even knowing you? And in total anonymity, so that you don't even know who it is that's judging you? Yeah sure it does, anyone has a right to judge. But in the end if they don't really know you, their opinion lacks basis and so it shouldn't even matter.
I suppose one of the many reasons that public journaling is so attractive to bloggers is that you can scream things that you wouldn't scream in public and surprise the world with the thoughts that boil in your head. I guess I've been craving that for some time now.
---
Lately, life has dimmed a bit. I normally look forward to break immensely, but with each break I am a little less excited to come home for reasons I won't get into right now. This entire break was particularly bittersweet, since I have been stressing hard about big kid stuff like what the heck I'm going to be doing in two year. The whole pre-med decision still scares me immensely, and sometimes when I think about it I stress to the point of nausea. I miss high school, when the finish line was college and the goal was simple: get there. Now that we there... there is no one straight path. There is no implied finish line, you gotta figure that out on your own. And that means it's all up to you set your boundaries so that the sky is the limit, and how far you get in life is set by your own endurance. Haha. Game over if you lazy overachiever.
Another task occupying my break: my lovely sister is getting married to one of the coolest boy I have met which is GREAT news but also means a lot of planning, particularly for the wedding shower in less than a week. Fun stuff, but I'm bummed I can't spend as much energy and time on the party planning when applications are always nagging at you.
anyway. it's 8:16 pm right now, and my room looks like a tornado hit it. must clean so i can go to all the...crazy...parties in cupertino...
2010 new years resolutions
1. no chocolate for january
2. keep room clean every day
3. keep better track of the happenings in my life and plan things out better
4. confidence.
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