nothing more humbling than getting your own ass handed to you by a former competitor.


for some reason, I always crave chocolate a few hours after a hard run..?!

call me narcissistic, but here I am sittin in my pop's office stalking old videos of run-gela on his computer.






i miss being this inexplicably tired. the pain is phenomenal
--
edit: am feeling a strong compulsion to just sit and read. anyone care to join?

blog crush

so i really enjoy reading your blogs. i respect the fact that you're bold enough to express your feelings without fear of being judged as fragile. Pretty solid insight you have, and so eloquently worded too.

I'm sorry I defriended you on fb, it really wasn't personal. it may have seemed like a petty gesture, but you and your crew just kept showing up on my newsfeed during a time i really couldn't take it.

never really do this, but i actually dedicate this post to someone i really don't know very well. keep writing!

angela

hi world!
Leaving for LA in about 8 hours for some snowboarding and famiry time :). Given my one full day stay (today) back home, I am :( I didn't get to see erryone but a good handful of them. Saw a group of them cross country goobs on a run today and caroling yesterday, then headed to a late night showing of black swan (i still have scary images in my head when i try to sleep!) Overall a pretty good movie, but it was so tiring because I just couldn't rest! Each scene was tense, like something/someone was just gonna pop out of nowhere and eat natalie portman (who was incredibly trim and bullemic, but still gorgeous in the movie).



oyah. mila kunis is okay too.

Poojs was back from India after a four month trip, and it was really refreshing to catch up with her again, but I was not aware she'd be going BACK TO INDIA until may.

okay theres a straight up non-emo post for yall.

goodnight
:)

angera

there is SO MUCH CRAP in my room here at home.

once i graduate im coming home and throwing half this stuff away

pregunta? what do you ex-ayso players do with your trophies? I mean they're pretty and all but they are starting to take up so much space!

sickk.

im awkward

so i was at cream today with vu and saw boy from my high school wearing a lambda shirt


me: HEY! You don't go here! Arent you in PA PHI?

lambda makes "cut it out" face at me...

angela: NO im pretty sure! P A Phi right?

lambda: no. dont go there.

Angela: what you're not in PA PHI?? PA PHI P-A-PHI? PINEAPPLE????


end post. this was probably the first time i've ever talked to this guy despite the fact we're in the same grade and went to the same high school

---
edit... sean catousse gave me a bear hug today :)

i feel a very personal hard ass reflective post coming on. in the days prior to or after my birthday.

edit: 3 of my personal pet peeves

1. people who are too feeble to voice their opinions. please, stand up for the matters you care about.

2. behind yo' back shit talkers. shit talking is okay to a certain extent, and if there is legit shit to be discussed. but one thing i truly disrespect is when people talk shit about someone, then the next day comes around and they are kissing ass of that same person. where is your integrity, do you stand for anything?

3. people who whine about their situation without doing a single thing to change it

Hero of the day

jminister89 6:21 pm
(6:21:16 PM): ya i jus needa get out of the lib
(6:21:28 PM): been here since 11
(6:21:28 PM): of yesterday... -_-



---
Also, finals week never fails to fatten me up >[

how's that for some perspective.

in the past 9 months I have officially been on all 3 sides of the fence.

photostream

a flurry of memories, people, and events that make me smile and/or scratch my head at how random the people in my life are.

when i am stressed i am a restless fickle fidgeter.

a]0wt08qhy432twajht0]aht3]i
awhte0]wah3otjaw\

ESTgha93tw0ju5
[1!~~~~!q2=3it5
\-=32qor-waite=g0ajw
og

SCORE!!! CONGRATUMalations TO my big big bro for passing his IP Bar!!!
and contratumalations me for getting my boots i ordered online... BERKELEY, RAIN, YOU AINT GOT NOTHIN ON ME.

>[

Professor Sul,

I think you are the meanest lady teacher I have ever had. You are SO rude!! I can forgive you for having a thick Korean accent, that's not your fault. I can forgive you for your hair, that's kinda your fault. But I can't forgive you for how RUDE you are in office hours. Must you GLARE at us every time we ask a question and imply that we are illiterate lazy dimwits!? Did you know that after I asked you my first question I pretty much crossed out 60 of my other questions because I didn't want to deal with your attitude. To ___, I give you props for staying in that lady's dungeon after I left. I wonder if she's like this every day or if like her dog just died or something.

Professor...I have one word for you.


HMPH!

(see you at the midterm tomorrow!)
sincerely,
>[ gela

To my dear family,

I love you very much. Stay strong!
-Me


--
edit. there are some days when i wake up and then all the sudden it's night. For example: today

listomania:

1. I spent 2 hours trying on beanies and hats yesterday, and came to the conclusion that my head shape is not conducive to hat wearing. When you wear a beanie, is there supposed to be flappity flap thing extending over the top?? I've seen some people wear it like that and it looks fine, but when I tried it on and looked in the mirror, I rofled. Looks like I put a piece of toast in the beanie before i put it on.

2. deleted :|

3. Although I am sad I will never get to travel with the team to a bowl game, it feels so awful good to NOT wake up at 6am to put a football player's sock on his foot (true story.)

4. its true. I am stalling. going to go for a run then return to this $%^&*()))()&(^%^#*@$ nutrition 150 lab class. layter.

VICTORY

i just spent 4 hours writing about what happens when i stick my hand in cold water then hot water. i dont know if ive ever felt more negatively about a lab. SHO ST00PID.

UGH
I
AM
SO
FINISHED
WITH
THIS
STUPID
LAB
CLASS
-___________________________________________-

SDF&^G(*JU)IKO#$%^&*(

There is possibly no regret more heart wrenching than failing at something without the consolation of knowing that you gave your best.

IM ALLMOST 21

:) BIRTHDAY PARRRRRTY BIRTHDAY PARTYYYYYYYYYYY BIRTHDAY PARTYAEIYHIOAEYHAEYAWE50UY235Y239U6]0936UOP6245

:]


---
EDIT: WILL NOT PARTY UNLESS I STUDY STUPER HARD FOR FYNALZ
-____________________________________________________-

I don't really understand people who eat fat free ice cream

also, careful what shrooms you munch on!

I see you drivin' round town with the girl I love and I'm like ...

you learn something new erry day!

Endorpins. Endo rphins. ENDO-RPHINS
endogenous morpines
true story!

More than turkey

Obligatory "what am I thankful for" post
GSI's
nerdy beyond belief? believe it. In my four years here at Cal, I've pretty much decided that the quality of education I've gotten so far is pretty crap compared to what I got in high school for reasons I won't discuss now. I do 95% of my learning own or from GSI's. I have three really EXCELLENT GSI's this semester who care a lot about their work and put a lot of energy and love into teaching (as lame as that sounds). Has made this academic semester bearable.
NEED TO: Step up my game, NURD stayyle

Mobility
Movement keeps me sane. If anything, this is what I most take for granted on a daily basis. I need to keep in mind to be better to my body, because I definitely abuse it. NEED TO: rest more, stretch more, eat less crap.

Eric, Jackie, Andy, Ma and Pa
Not going to lie. I've neglected talking to my fambam as much as previous semesters, with the excuse of being "busy." In truth, there should never be a time where hanging out with my friends takes precedence over family especially during these times when it gets harder to have us all together. When they call me (especially pa. ESPECIALLY PA)I really ought to be less of a brat and more thankful that I have this source of unconditional love.
Need to: cherish them

roomies, old and new friends
Roomies. Over the past 4 years they've seen me suffer or celebrate through it all...especially cus.... I always have to go home to my bed every night haha. This semester I've really appreciated the better qualities of the three awesome girls I live with. For the past 2, 3, or even 4 (for diane) years, they've been there for me as an outlet and source of support. Not only have they tolerated me in emo mode, brat mode, annoying early riser-mode, and more...they actually come to me in friendship mode and do those little things to show they care about me even when I am feeling restless and distant.

Old friends, same goes for you. I can be such a mess when I get stressed, and if you are close enough to me and have been there to suffer the wrath of Spring '10 emo-gela, I'm sure I've cried on your shoulder. I'm sad we don't get to hang out as much as we have in the past but the good thing is that no time seems to pass when we do meet up.

New friends.
I really don't know what to say except that some of you have come out of nowhere. absolutely nowhere. This past semester was full of strange surprises, sprinkling my life with a cast of new people. I can't really explain a worthy adjective to describe you but... "cool." I have a lot of fun hanging out with some of you, like we click perty good. And that. Is a rare quality to find because I can be quite the squarebear with most people.

So I guess as an in general reflection...thank you to everyone and everything that has picked me up over the past few months. If you've ever been through a depressing phase you now how grim getting up can feel. The contrast between past and present helps me to better appreciate where I am now. On a relevant note, I realize that these days I giggle and smile a LOT more than I used to. I seem find almost everything funny or silly, and can't contain the giggles once they start. Then I feel lame for being the only one in the room laughing.

..ok..
SWIFT TRANSITION: DINNER TODAY was D-LICIOUS!! I cooked MP's pesto pasta and a boo-berry pie that one of the soccer players gave me the recipe for. It was oh so good I had to make a second one to sustain my fam.


ALSO, I realized...It's about time I had a pair of slick boots.

Bliss

There is a certain bliss that comes with having absolutely no idea what the future holds.

I love getting these

quite the complement..someone think im gud lookin ^^

"do you come here much,

i swear i've seen your face before"

well, today was supposedly the last "nice" day for a while (crossing my fingers the forecast is wrong, though)
Went on a fine hill run and a post-run dip in the water. Highlight of my day, without a doubt. It's a shame what people miss out on if they don't go out for some fresh air.

One of the more scenic spots up fire trail:

If you can figure out where this hiding spot is, i'll give you a dollar!

BTW I finally figured out to upload a photo background on this sucka. Meet herbie, my child with judy and the new star of my background.

LLOLOLOLOLOLOL

HE SAID SHE SAID HE SAID SHE SAID HE SAID SHE SAID HE SAID SHE SAID SHE LIKE HE LIKES SHE LIKES HE LIKES HER


THIS IS SO LAME. WHAT ARE WE, IN MIDDLE SCHOOL?
never thought I'd requote this one from my trip to USC when I got in trouble, but it happened again.



"other peoples' perceptions are their reality"

and if their perception is bullshipped, then so is their reality.


(trying not to swear so much this post.)

who the fuck do you think you are.

lol today you just capitalized on how much of a douche you are. congrats, you are the KING of douche. why could I not understand this before.

Not going to lie, pretty sad right now

i bet giorgio is writing in his fail blog right now =[

pet peeve #1) Flaky McFlakester

grr. sometimes, i think you should just apologize. you'd save yourself some face.

APOROGIZE!!

----

2:16 AM i've been sleepin' hella late these days. diet coke works wonders. i am sittin in my fave pair of sweats and cupertino sweatshirt, but drake is telling me through my computer that I'm fancy huh. so it's cool. i mean, it's coo*



Ready to rock out this drugs paper.

okay

so i'm like... legit confused.

dilemma

switch to tumblr? sometimes iz prettier.

edit.
just made one of my top 10 all time sammiches:

honey ham (deli sliced, not from the package!)
cheddar cheese
light mayo
tomato
garden spinach
sliced haas avacados
all on toasted hazelnut bread
so good i dropped it, had to get my camera so i could savor it after i ate it. :D

fail blog

first off: quick life update. last week was fynalz meyhem. thank goodness for friday night sake with the roomates then a saturday win by beast bears then coming home to hang with famiry. I really enjoyed seeing my family again and find that the more time i spend with my roomates the more I appreciate their good qualities. shout out to youguys, if you read :)





these days i have been failing a lot. the good thing is that, for the most part, they are trivial fails, but they just happen so gosh darn often. i can literally name multiple incidents a day I just phailphailphail. silly stuff. like ALL OF THESE HAPPENED TODAY:

1) slathering sunblock on myself before my morning run then walking into a rainy, dark and sunless day

2) eating mu ping's yogurt cus i thought it was mine. it was hers. reminds me of a few days ago when she asked if she could borrow my car for an event she had to be at so i gave her my key. hours later, i get a text "um angela...you gave me your house keey" sorry MP i hope the apology ice cream makes up for it

3) On Fri: spending an hour perfecting my own original chocolate cookie recipe, then upon completion DROPPING THE GLASS BOWL ON THE FLOOR AND SHATTERING INTO PIECES




4) I ask all my roomates if they need anything from target. I receive only ONE request: covergirl eyeliner. Di gives me example to carry in my pocket so I can compare when I am in the store. I FAIL and retrieve wrong eyeliner. need to return it tomorrow.

5)THIS MORNING: I debate between wearing sneakers or flip flops to treatment at stadium this morning. i choose "SLIPPERS. BECAUSE ITS SUNDAY, AND BECAUSE ITS SUNDAY=EASY TREATMENT, BOSS SHUD BE OKAY WITH IT TODAY BECUS NORMALLY SUNDAY IS CHILL"(-my brain's quote this morning, verbatim) I walk into stadium and erryone stares at me as I come in because I SLIDE IN ON MY SLIPPERY SLIPPERZ CUS THEY ARE WET AND IT IS RAINING. My greeting from boss was "Tell me why are we waring slippers." siigh. the redeeming point of my shift: keenan allen liked my cookies :)

So I think I'm officially accidentally on my way to a fail degree. will pick it up this spring. except I will definitely spell my name wrong on it, and show up at my ceremony the hour after it ends. accidentally. because that is how i roll. the fail way.
------------
okay now anyway, this semester wont stop being eventful. Lots of things keep happening to me. People and events, keeping my life on its toes. i have much to write about, but will save it for another post. I will leave one thought for meditation

the word unrequited has terribly painful implications. luckily, or unluckily, karma is a bitch.

it's a lonely hour. thanks for your company.


troopin' on at 4am. Been a terrible student this past month. start fresh ? easier said than done. but the attempt is under way.

main stacks

edit: this came to my head while talking to friend on aim. an old convo my mom sent me:


Hi Angela,

Is it cold over there?
Do you have enough blacks?

I transfered the money to your bank.
Let me know if you more.

Have a good start on you school.

bye

love
mom



u can imagine i was confused. black people? black what?
turns out-black INK.

HEY MA, GUESS WHAT! you missed an important word thurrr... THE NOUN!!!

peace

MVP OF THE DAY: LLEE

TO YOU, cus i know you read this.


whoaitslloyd 11:13 pm
(11:13:13 PM): it's not my fault
(11:13:18 PM): i was born with it
(11:13:22 PM): ability to exude awesomeness
muffinmonstero7 11:13 pm
(11:13:22 PM): FUN JEANS?
whoaitslloyd 11:13 pm
(11:13:31 PM): YUP
muffinmonstero7 11:13 pm
(11:13:35 PM): lol someone is inlove with himself
whoaitslloyd 11:13 pm
(11:13:35 PM): my fun genes
(11:13:38 PM): got translocated
muffinmonstero7 11:13 pm
(11:13:40 PM): OMG DONT EVEN START
whoaitslloyd 11:13 pm
(11:13:41 PM): in front of
muffinmonstero7 11:13 pm
(11:13:51 PM): in front of heavy chain promoter/?
whoaitslloyd 11:13 pm
(11:13:53 PM): ya
(11:13:57 PM): a lot of bcell activity
(11:14:02 PM): --> upregulation of lloyd fun gene LFG
muffinmonstero7 11:14 pm
(11:14:04 PM): so it is extensively expresed?
whoaitslloyd 11:14 pm
(11:14:07 PM): ya
(11:14:10 PM): i got fun tumor
muffinmonstero7 11:14 pm
(11:14:11 PM): SHITZZZ
(11:14:16 PM): THATS UR SECRET
whoaitslloyd 11:14 pm
(11:14:22 PM): i know you're smiling
muffinmonstero7 11:14 pm
(11:14:23 PM): That actually doesn't soudn pretty
whoaitslloyd 11:14 pm
(11:14:26 PM): don't even
(11:14:29 PM): lie to me
(11:14:29 PM): right now
(11:14:34 PM): DON'T EVEN
(11:14:36 PM): FUCKING LIE TO ME RIGHT NOW
muffinmonstero7 11:14 pm
(11:14:37 PM): nuh uh
(11:14:39 PM): im not
(11:14:40 PM): i am
(11:14:42 PM): repressing smile
(11:14:43 PM): with arf repressor
whoaitslloyd 11:14 pm
(11:14:45 PM): no way
(11:14:46 PM): LOL
muffinmonstero7 11:14 pm
(11:14:50 PM): fuckin ubiquitniated the shit
whoaitslloyd 11:14 pm
(11:14:58 PM): out of your smile?
muffinmonstero7 11:15 pm
(11:15:06 PM): NO, the TF that transcribes smile
whoaitslloyd 11:15 pm
(11:15:09 PM): well
(11:15:15 PM): i phosphorylated your arf gene
muffinmonstero7 11:15 pm
(11:15:14 PM): OK THIS SHOULD STOP NOW


this is what you do to us, kunxin, this is what you do.

MVP OF TODAY < 3 MPC

muffinmonstero7 3:43 pm
(3:43:25 PM): my luandry is still there
(3:43:37 PM): move it out into my basket?
soadorkables 3:43 pm
(3:43:53 PM): i'll just throw it at _________ _____
(3:43:56 PM): ______ __
(3:43:58 PM): HAHAHHAHT
(3:44:04 PM): LOL PLEASEE
soadorkables 3:44 pm
(3:44:05 PM): lolol
(3:44:06 PM): noo
(3:44:09 PM): your clothes will get dirty
muffinmonstero7 3:44 pm
(3:44:12 PM): HAHAHAHHAH
soadorkables 3:44 pm
(3:44:14 PM): waste of 4 dollars

literally, this is my thoughts

okay i failed on a few items of my list. but am doing well on the rest. my hands and feet are cold, my stomach hurts a little. i want a waffle. i cannot go on aim (one of the items on my list) so i am type type typing right now. i have two big fat obese midterms coming up. i dont like my NST teacher, she does not explain things well. yesterday I went up to the fire trails at midnight because I was sick of studying cancer (TAKE THAT, KUNXIN). I went with patty. it was kinda scary because it was real dark and so pat hat to turn on headlight, which he placed on his crotch for some reason. the run was fun though. the sky is pretty at night and i took some pictures but they don't look very good on camera, but better in my eyeball. i hope i get to work with track and field next semester! I would also like to start yelping some time. wait i take that back i am yelping, i am just a total newb at it. I would like to be a legit yelper sometime, like joyce. WHAT is the right job for me?

I knew from the start she was ready
We could just leave don't talk right now if you say....
i'm ready, i'm i'm ready






cancer. cancercancercancer.
angela

how i failed three times today

1. Woke up and ate 2 mini oatmeal cookies on the table
FAIL: THEY WERE BAKED FOR MY ROOMATES FRIENDS BIRTHDAY

2. Got assigned lacrosse for spring 11 sports med intern
FAIL: I WANTED FOOTBALLLLLLLLLL, SOCCER, TRACK, SWIMMING...ANYTHING???

3. Went in to drugs and brain lecture, chillin' cus the midterm's on Thursday
FAIL: THE MIDTERM WAS TODAY


the best part of my day was this quarter of a muffin that amy bought for us. and im sure its okay for me to eat because she told me. there is no way i can fail at this muffin.

- happy camper, because of the muffin

i haven't inserted a picture in my posts for a while. here goes: something i made after freshman year, with a lot of <3. the neon green one dino is herbie, who I made with judy. The pig is for joyce, and i made the peach for diana cus she was always princess peach when we played smash. IDK if you read this, but the last one is for u, yoshi, cus i forgot to give it to you for the last 2 years and ur birthday passed just a few days go. Ill find you. I just need some super glue cus your red feet fell off.







edit. i should be studying. but will not rest until i find a way to make this picture my background.

edit edit: jklol. i quit. technology > me. goodnight.

EDIT EDIT FREAKIN EDIT: I should rest but I have one last thing to post.

I have a notecard, I am writing it right now, with 5 goals to stick with for the next 5 days- UNTIL HALLOWEEEEEN. Sorry, you won't know what's on it but I'll do a little blurb on this blog for daily updates to keep me accountable.

a re-post

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

"other peoples' perceptions are their reality"

how true. waldo told this to me and liza just yesterday after we got in trouble for acting like the u$c football game was a trip to "disneyland"-according to the perceptions of others.

HARSH MEAN NOTE OF THE DAY.

hey you, my perception of you is that you are a bitch. not a straightforward, but a tricky, subtle one. i say this because i see how you are to everyone else you try to suck up to and how you are to people you think less of. i feel like i've given you enough second chances but my patience is wearing thin and so is my flexiblity. post title sucks, dont it?

ahhhh....

nothing more tasty than cold spieker on a hot day.

Note to self

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

----

Post nap revelation:

I constantly see history repeat itself in three realms of my life right now..

3. I am determined to change a bad habit that's been dragging me down for the past few weeks. goal: get back on track by Friday [ ]

2. Winging school and pulling last minute miracles has been successful in the past-by chance, and by the grace of luck. Consistency is backed up by hard work.

Goal: set priorities straight [ ]

1. Be careful with hearts. of friends and everyone. Slash one and you could leave hate scars that are sometimes unforgiving :T

OKAY MIDTERM IN 11 HOURS BYE BYE

i ruv my roomate

@ smd party: awkward dude comes up and starts to try to dance with me

Angela (in my head): ermmm umm. i need helpz. MU PING I NEED HELP

MP comes gives me a hug, takes me away from awky dude

awkward dude: Oh hi, what's your name?

MP: uhhmmmmmmmmmmmm...umm.....(1 minute later)..yeahhhh.

awky dude: your name is yeah...?

MP: yeahhh....

not sure why this was so hilarious but it definitely made me Laugh Out Loud in random burts over the past day. one of those "u had to be there" moments. ruv mp!

---
on another note- this has been another non stop eventful weekend. i love my bears :) it was an excellent weekend for...

hi

you have no idea the things i want to say to you right now.


I wish things were different.

come on asians, you feelin' me?

OKAY. Pause lab report. I have the most intense compulsion to blog right now. About porridge.

There is nothing that hits the spot quite like porridge. Good hotwarm rice porridge cooked by mom. you know, "juk" or "congee" or "xifan" to all my chinese/korean homies out there. Add in some of those oily asian preserved vegetables in neon orange sauce, with cooked pork rib meat the way my dad simmers it in its own lard it. wholesome, not too heavy, perfectly tasty. one helluva drool provoking meal that hits the spot any day.

Owns pasta. Owns burritos. EVEN OWNS CHOCOLATE.

YEAHH i worked that google search.

---
My two thoughts of the day:

1. #$%^& to the inefficiencies of nonsensical public establishments and law ordinance: I find it entirely ironic that I waited 2 hours and 45 minutes at the DMV for a 4 minute transaction. I find it even more ironic that I spent $56 dollars and a good 5 hours of my life running back and fourth from the DMV+ Berkeley permit office for a tiny sticker to add to my car bumper's city parking permit. All that to change the number on the sticker I already had from 2010-->2011. I could have done that with white out and a sharpie. in 2 minutes and 0 dollars!!

2. -______- of the day: There's this awesome guy named Deprato who works up at the stadium with me. He's a physical therapist who works with tons of sports teams up by the stadium: football, lacrosse, gymnastics, softball, you name it. Hands down, he's one of the coolest guys up there. Easy to talk to, fun, cheerful, and witty (and not bad looking either, heh heh). His job is pretty excellent; it entails working hands on (in every sense of the word) with athletes, and really making a difference in their physical well being. I could see myself enjoying what he does.

I digress.

Every day, Deprato puts a trivia question of the day on the board. Today's question was:

There are ten countries with an eagle on their national flag. Name three.

After pondering the question for a near half minute or so, I began my response with the words "well obviously there's the US..."

-__________-

end post. return to lab report.

please massage out this knot in my butt

Oct 3 2010 The longest consecutive run I have completed thus far in my life. 3 hours,1 minute, and 19 seconds. Roughly 19 miles, plus or minus some. My knees hate me a little right now, but it was necessary! Nike womens in 2 weeks= 7 more miles than I ran today -___-

wanted: friend with screwdriver

racially ignorant question of the day: when white people say porridge, are they talking about oatmeal?!? im pretty sure goldilocks did not eat rice porridge, but correct me if I am wrong.

random april fools joke idea: hehe unscrew all the handles on all the pots/pans in da house. OR remove all the doorknobs in the house lawl

--

thanks for reading! thoughts brought to you by my home cooked rice porridge lunch and getting locked in my kitchen after the doorknob fell off (thanks for saving me diana), which happened after my loose frying pan handle almost fell off, which happened the day after my pot handle fell off. does anyone have a screwdriver i can borrow? no seriously. i could use a friend right now

i just said "obama bin laden" while trying to read a question from my practice test

end post.

HEY YOU

HEY MR!! you play this game well, even if you are totally oblivious of it.

oh and HEY, YOU, other MR!! You are really pushing my buttons today!!!! -____-

2:30 PM I have a midterm on drugs and the brain in exactly 1 hour and here i sit, listening to Aaron Carter and looking at pictures from this summer. This is a problem..

edit: thanks, life, for putting ants in my room this morning!

emaiLOL

6:56 PM

today i said a bad word in the library and an old guy across from me gave me a look of death. it then occured to me that over the past year or so i've become quite the pottymouth... this needs to stop :( i will try to tone it down, sorry world.

craparoo.

9/21/10 9:51 PM my FB activity keeps increasing. time to moderate =[

this blog. i update. too much. might as well get a freakin' twitter.

woke up at 7:49 am to use the bathroom

then went straight to youtube to look up football. Being an SMI has intrigued me to follow the sport (how can it not, when you're suddenly surrounded by it 15 hours a week?)

I'm still a newb, but learning. Here are 2 of the monumental clips I feel sorta ignorant for not having seen until today:

2. Jahvid Best's epic concussion

1. The play

Not saying I'm an affectionado or annoying girl fanatic (gawd please hurt me if that happens). Just trying to be a good SMI :)

a few of the best feelings in life

in no particular order:

1. fresh laundry after having to re-wear socks out of desparation

2. long awaited urination

3. post hill-run euphoria

if i named my kid charity, would she get lots of free stuff by virtue others' subconscious?

If i named my kid dash, would he be fast like dash oliver?

What happens to a balloon when it pops in the atmosphere? Does it fall back down back to earth (if anyone has ever seen this let me know...)?

I am really bad at taking complements. my response is either awkward or insulting to the complement-giver. I need to work on this.

...ahhh... :)

i like to look at this picture when I am stressed. it is one of my all time favorites, but ironically I was not even there to see it for myself. its a pic my bro took when he went to tahoe a few years back:

Looking at it makes me melt a little.

anyhoo! updates for the day

1. today i saved a good friend who was stranded on his bike millions of miles in the middle of the desert (slight exaggeration). Don't worry, i got ur back!!

2. it really irks me when people are so passively aggressive about stuff. stop beating around the bush. just beat the gosh darn bush.

3. I''ve been far too inclined to going out these past few weeks. I thought last weekend was enough, but now jlau is coming up again and that means one thing.......

4. i've been having a really good hair week! how spectacular.... I used to hate my hair, but maybe i just needed to give it a chance and grow out. give me a few more months and I'll have that simba like mane!

5. i just impulsively bought 3 swimsuits online =[ bad me.

6. my arms are cold again.

not a post of out of arrogance but out of necessity

hey you. yes you. i'm going to win and you're going to lose, you ass.

INSPIRED

my brain thinks too many loud thoughts. sometimes i put a lid on it because I don't want to overkill this blog or spam followers' newsfeeds with annoying updates. but then i realize this blog's whole damn purpose is to hold my thoughts, regardless of how spontaneous and frequent they may be. After reading a blog of my friend's brother (i swear im not a creeper) I really admired the way he spills out his thoughts so honestly and profusively. He inspired me to start blogging without caring anymore.

BEGIN THOUGHTS:

1. This weekend has been eventfully draining. Way too much has happened, and there are a few things I should have thought through more clearly about before jumping into action. Regardless, I know I am a college student and I will be careless at times.

2. I get excited when I meet new people because the more you put yourself out there the more potentially amazing friendships you may make. There is no real downside it! If you meet an ass, you can drop 'em. Meet a good one, keep 'em. Considering this is my last year as college student, I realize how crucial these next few months are. They will slip by too quickly.

3. Come December, I want to have a birthday party. Sometimes when I am trying to study my mind thinks about it. I think about what songs I want on the playlist. I wonder how well my Berkeley friends would mesh with my hometown friends.

4. I've been a real douche to three people in particular over the past few months/weeks and wish I could say sorry. But saying sorry is the equivalent of peeling of the band aid of an old yucky wound. What's done is done.

5. There's this one football player who I can NEVER stretch right. It always makes me feel bad. He didn't even get a good stretch after I put my whole body weight into giving him a groin stretch (YEAH, it did look awkward if that's what you're wondering!)

6. Today a friend took me to the bball courts and I played some 3 on 3 bball with a bunch of freshman looking boys. My shooting and playing skills in general suck, but I definitely had fun and want to play again. It's a refreshing change from run/swim/biking.

7. Do you ever have those random moments when you re-realize something that you already know, and it shocks you? Today while I was washing the dishes I realized my sister is married. WTF????

8. my arms are cold. im going to turn on my electric blanket and crawl into the covers. nighty.

life changing moment

have you ever had one of those life changing moments when something you've believed in so faithfully proves to be false? and then your whole world turns upside down and you feel fooled. denied. tricked.

today, i found out the SPF daily moisturizer I have been using for the past two years is actually not SPF. I am shamed and embarrased. There were days I would leave my house unprotected from those harmful UV rays, then upon realizing my mistake I would go out of my way to RETURN to my house for the sole purpose of retrieving and applying my dear SPF moisturizer.

ALL THIS TIME, IT WAS NOT SPF. Karen told me it in passing today, but little did she know those four words would shatter my world- "Dude...it's not SPF"

I have lost all faith in this deceitful world. goodness knows the genetic damage I have so obliviously accumulated in these crucial two years...sigh. goodnight world. this means war.

--
edit. also- if you fb stalk for too long, you realize that the world is way too small.

imma go get it.

the plan is still in the making, but it looks a little something like this:

one day, i want to be able to fix people. Ideally, they'd be athletes. They'd tell me about the pain in their splitting shins, how much it hurts and how badly they want it to stop. As I fixed the pain I would tell them to not worry because I know exactly what it means to feel like a crumbling athlete but to be the best you must go through the worst.

Ideally, I would start with a small team and it would be stellar if I could work my way up to the big dogs. I'd travel with them, cheer them on, and tape 'em up as I watched them run, swim, kick, throw, bike, punt from my special bench on the sidelines. I would stitch their wounds cleanly, with years of sophistication and great care operating my hands. They would ask questions, and instead of referring them to ask the medic, I would be the medic with the answer.

Most of all they would trust me and this trust would challenge me to be responsible, self sacrificing, and dissatisfied unless I had put forward the best of my skills to the best of their health.

--

yeah, i want it so get this fucking hurdle out of the way.

FUDGE MY BROWNIE

i wonder how many times people would get slapped in the face if they vocalized all the thoughts they had in their head.

---

Now that schools is back in session, I've made a few pessimistic observations.

Pessimism #1. When you see familiar face on campus, CHANCES are that even if you know them, you probably haven't missed them that much over this summer break. The ones you miss are the ones you care about, and the ones you care about are the ones that you probably kept some sort of tabs on or communication with over the summer. Then there is eeeeevvvveryone else. They are neither +1 or -1, they are just 0's - neutral bystandards in your life.

You flash back to the last time you saw them, and you realize that was the last time you even thought of them... Their existence has not crossed your mind in a good 3 months, and so when you see them again their impact on you is minimal. In fact, the most impactful observation you can make is that you haven't seen them in a long time, and that's just... that's all. You don't REALLY miss them, and to be honest if they never returned your life would show no change.

When I am with people I like, everything is fine and dandy and fun.

When I am with people I do not like, at least I know I do not like them so there's a definite stance I can take on them. I can avoid dealing with them.

But then there's the other 70%. The neutral acquaintances who you know well enough that an interaction upon passing is obligatory. I hate when I have to plaster on a fake ass smile, or try too hard to resurrect a dead beat up conversation that died last semester with someone who I really share no common ground with. It's REAL tiring

LIFE UPDATE:

Fudge. 7 days till MCAT. I have been studying my ass off the past 10 days and FINALLY cracked today. Was THIS close --> <---- to going out. Ended up restraining myself to the house to get some work done, only to be sidetracked by friend visitors at the house until 2:30 AM (now). So considering today's lack of progress I will label today as my rest day. Hell week begins again tomorrow.

DOUBLE FUDGE. I have to wake up in 3.5 hours and walk to Memorial Stadium where I will enjoy a 5 hour shift wrapping stinky sweaty boys in ice... FUDGE. MY. BROWNIE

-________________-

the only redeeming notion is that one of the football players stopped his car today on telegraph to say hi to me! sweet! only 104 more boys to win over...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

JANICE IS COMING TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

First week back hurrr

edit: i'm a little annoyed. Yesterday a friend totally guilt tripped me, saying "I see how it is" after I told him I could not hang out that day. Today, a friend told me hanging out with me is like "going to the dentist" when I said "lets study together!" in response his idea to bake cookies.

Come. On. "I see how it is" No you do not. When I am not studying I am at the stadium on a 8 hour football shift. Then I come back, run, then study. Of course I want to hang out but these next 2 weeks I am in a pretty obligate relationship with my books. I don't want to take this test again, so please be a friend and try to understand. Please.
---



I finally started my Sports Med Internship for the Cal Football team this past week and it's been the best break from MCAT studying ever.


THE JOB
So far I've been doing a lot of icing, wrapping, ultrasounding, electrical stimulation, making ice bags, giving water, bandaids, etc. I've been working at this training room right by Memorial Stadium, helping the players before, after, and during practice. Saw some pretty nasty injuries so far- this one dude had a fist-sized blister, and this other dude got stitches from practice on monday from running up the bleachers and slipping, landing on his shin (hilariously funny but OUCH). I'm currently learning how to tape feet correctly- there's an art to it that I hope to master by the end of the season.

CO-WORKERS

My co-workers are pretty awesome as well. Very chill people, easy to talk to and fun to be around. One of them is jovial little filipino girl, who has a squeaky demeanor that matches her 14 year old looking face. Another is a tall asian dude who is easy to carry on a fun conversation with. Another girl who has been doing this job for 2 years has a funny bone by nature and always makes funny comments. There's a sassy asian girl who is really considerate and sweet- but one that you know not to get on the bad side of. Then there's Stephen, who was smart enough to join this program after we both heard about it at our winter externship last year. The athletic trainers are funny- already started taking advantage of my apparent gullible-ness (what is the adjective for that word). My immediate boss looks super serious, although I know he has a good sense of humor by the comments he makes. He's a good down- to- business guy who watches out for us.

THE PLAYERS

Are free entertainment. At first I was sort of intimidated to talk to them but they are hilarious. Yesterday one farted really loudly on the field and everyone started looking around saying "wasn't me..." haha. Just today, one of them was complaining about how he was too big to be allowed on the water slide at the water park he went to. Collectively, him and one of his other football player friends had exceeded the weight limit that was set for a slide we wanted to go to-by 200 or so pounds. Although heroic in suit and on the field, they just your normal average human being off the field. For the most part they are well intentioned, nice people (although rough around the edges). They ask me questions about myself during treatments and like to carry on jokes. One of them even yanked my ponytail during practice and walked away innocently when I asked if it was him. I am naturally gravitating towards this link during my study breaks, so I can get faster at matching names with faces:

http://www.calbears.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/cal-m-footbl-mtt.html

THE FOOOOOOOD

I was not aware of this at all before- but they feed us. boy do they feed us. Whatever shift we're working, we can get meals when the football players do. And let me tell you, it puts crossroads and cafe 3 to shame. On my first day, I had a chipotle sized burrito, salad, and ravioli...BEST meal I've eaten all week. And it's SO much that I always have a leftover box to bring home. This is only expected, of course, since the football players have gigantic appetites to match their body size. Right after I finished dinner on Monday I was putting my dishes away when I saw a cafeteria lady walk by, setting up cereal on the serving table. When I asked her if she was getting ready for breakfast the next day, she laughed and replied "this is for their after dinner snack" I LOL-ed. Boy do they have it good here. Right now they are at the Claremont hotel, swimming in their swimming pool. Lucky dudes.

Speaking of food though- I'm pretty sure I've put on at least 5 lbs since coming to Berk last week. Living with boys for a few days + eating out with friends means I've had pizza 3 times in the past 5 days. Plus, eating with the football players pretty much= eating like the football players. I would actually really like to just eat a healthy salad sometime soon... I'm a little sick of heavy meals

THE GAME

In the past week my knowledge of football has increased 100fold. Here are the basics of what I know (very elementary, please don't judge)
OFFENSE:
Offensive line- Protects QB
QB- gets ball after hike, throws to either wide receiver, running back, or tied end. <--(lol. just found out it's spelled "tight" end)
Whoever catches the ball has to run it to the other side in order to score a touchdown.
"Backs" (3): Quarterback, Full back and Tail back


DEFENSE:
Defensive Line: Tries to get to the QB and beat the crap out of him. Blocked by the O-line
Line Backers: yeah not sure what these guys do
Safety: Makes sure O-line doesn't pass them...


FORGIVE ME I AM STILL LEARNING!




SO TO SUM IT UP.. I have been pretty much either studying or helping out the football team since I got here on Sat, and am fairly content to keep it that way until Sept 3. TILL NEXT TIME BLOGGIE,


-me

Let go.

oh what i would give to learn how to do this. and to swim backstroke in a straight line..

and i thought my .28 was anorexic

saw this and had a happy attack. how sad the things that get me excited these days- like really skinny pens. money.