PART I: Worse shit
whatever shit you're going through, its unlikely to be worthy of your wallowing. theres a lot worse shit going on than the shit going on in your life- wallowing wastes days. months. years.
as you grow up you realize life is not just sunshine and butterflies and candy. There are people who kill themselves because of unhappiness. In the past few days I've heard a few sad stories- a girl our year who grew up in a smucky neighborhood in a house of 10 kids with an adultering father and a schizophrenic brother who carried a gun around the house at all times. Made it all the way to Berkeley on a full ride + $20,000, climbed onto the roof of the parking garage next to spens black, almost jumped. A friend of mine has a younger brother who is currently hospitalized. With a recent diagnosis of severe depression after episodes of mental instability to the point where you can't even finish a coherent sentence-I would be scared. Plus the pressure of your peers questioning your sexuality and singling you out on top of academic/ college bound pressures I can only imagine how grim life might seem for him.
But maybe its true that just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the happiness you extract from life is a malleable, perception based quality?
PART II: WHAT IS STABLE?
I just drove down to Cupertino tonight to surprise my mom and to get away from the ridiculousness that is Berkeley during finals season. After a relaxing shower I sat down with my mom and had a talk with her. She told me about her business, which seems to occupy a good portion of her day every day. At the end of our convo, I wondered what dictates her mood at the end of the day but tha answer was already clear. A good day of tenants with flourshing business means sleeping happy, but an economic downturn like the one as of recent puts a dampen on the day and causes stress induced acid to ooze out into your stomach to kill butterflies. How bout yourself? Does the number of shots you take or the grade you got on that paper or the laughts you had with your friends or the solidarity of your career goals or how your BF/GF treats you today make the difference between weather you sleep soundly tonight? Shit! whats that? IT DOES?! then what the fuck in life can you STABLY depend on? when times are rough what do you lean on, and should you really rest your weight on that?
Part III: a little lighter.
haha part I and II are so emo. Why must i be so emo sounding! Im really not right now, just pensive.
-anyway, happy birthday KEVIN H, dinner was flantastic even the duck sausage pizza.
-I wrote my first YELP review today!
-Finals finals finals. what can i say. People turn into animals during this time of year (SRSLY. HUMAN-->VULTURES when it comes to seats at main stacks) So glad to be in Cupertino right now. Tom Bill i doubt you read this blog but you better hang out with me.
-HIRED.
-THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO once fyynalzshit is over: GRADUATIONS FOR SPESHOL PEOPLE, EPIC BACKPACKING TRIP + BEACH to kick of the summer :)
-SO I WAS THINKING... EDC or Wedding... tough choice.
"He's gettin some for his birthday...TEEHEEHEEE"- joyce, referring to froyo...dirty ho
spiritgreen@gmail.com:
yea if i have time im down
to hang out with you ;)
me: haa okay
well probably not this wek
cus aparently theres some tests or something (?)
but maybe summer!
spiritgreen@gmail.com: yea i think they're called finals
but i dont think they're for us
me: oohh! fi-nals? never heard of it
fine- al's?
spiritgreen@gmail.com: i think they're for seniors
bc it's like
their final years
makes so much sense now. phew. no studying to worry about
happy motherss day mama! love u and dont care who knows it <3
