These past few weeks have been so eventful that I literally can't keep up with it. I wake up each day forgetting the things I did the previous day. All I feel like sharing with you now is a few observations/realizations of the past week.
Thought 1: Consideration, judgement.
The more I talk to certain people, the more I realize that my expectations of their compassion and humility may have been overrated since first impressions. What dawned on me is the importance of mutual communication. I believe it common etiquette to ask "how was yours" after someone asks you how your day was. Likewise, eye contact is key to show that you care about what the other person is talking about. Worst case combination I feel are the certain buggers who look in the distance and just talk about themselves when you ask those simple courtesy questions. How are you? What did you do today? etc. etc.
I realize I firmly hold it against you if you do something to make me believe you are conceited or douchey. For instance, if you break my common rules of etiquette and human consideration I will almost always give you the stinkeye and think less of you. And once I make this discernment, try to reverse me. It's hard.
I don't think my standards are that high. Be kind. If I smile and say hello, reciprocate. If I show I am trying to be friendly, reciprocate. Even if you do not since you are not the happy go lucky type, I will still give you a chance to be a buddy in my book if you at least show you are interested in being a respectful/respectable person.
The minute you show you think you are better than me, or anyone else in the room, I am likely to brush off my regard for you.
Thought two: Money
Money. Can be a yucky issue. Over the past few weeks I've accumulated a few friends who owe me moneys. It's just a few dollars here and there, but if you add it all up it's definitely more than $20. The amount seems petty, but what bothers me is the principle. When people say "I will pay you back" I really hope they do this with true intention or else it is just uncool. Understandably, people forget. But I wonder if some people intentionally leave it unsaid when they are in debt. To me, I think one of the most uncomfortable situations would be if someone was like "Yo... why didn't you pay me back yet?" so I avoid asking this, as well as I avoid borrowing money if I know I can't promptly return it.
Thought three: Favors
Those who know what is going on in my life perhaps know that I have been poised to be in the "favor asking" position...because I need certain things from people in this crucial month. I need things from friends, future employers, past supervisors, teachers etc. I believe the kindest phrase I have heard this past month is:
"I would be happy to help you"
To my friend who said this, and to the people who meant it in their hearts, I send you an e-hug as I write this. I've mentioned in a previous blog post that I believe favors should be done without a lingering sentiment of debt or repayment on either side. I don't care much for the attitude of trying to find out how much someone paid for your birthday present so that you can give them the same amount back. Friendships should not be based on an I-O-U scale.
Sorry- I digress again.
What I am trying to say is that I truly, truly, truly, respect and appreciate those people who believe that having the upper hand is an opportunity to show support and kindness rather than an opportunity to gain leverage.
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d00pity doop. much more to say. boy is calling, will talk to you later, blawg!
