Hi, I'm Angela's best friend Jon. She was naive enough to ask me to write a guest post regarding living in New York so here it goes:
This is my 3rd week living in the upper west side and I still get confused by the subway system.
Shit is expensive
Seriously, no dollar menu at Mcdonalds? $15 shots of stoli?
$600 bottle service to get 4 guys in to
a club and you don’t even get an actual table or seats?? This shit is crazy. Unless you’re an investment banker you’ll
probably be getting owned by the prices here. The only bottles and models I’m
fucking with are Gatorade bottles and MATLAB models. For the prices I’m paying to live here I could
probably support a small village in Sudan.
Finding an apartment sucks if you're not rich
To find an apartment you’ll have to decide if you’re going
to rent or sublet. If you rent you need to make 40x rent. For example a shitty
$1500 studio on the “upper” east side on 95th will require you to
make at least $60,000. I write upper in quotes because people will advertise
apartments above the 90s as the Upper East Side but it’s so far up that it’s essentially
Harlem rather than the lavish gossip girl stomping grounds that one would hope
for. Additionally, you’ll most likely work with a broker and that will cost you
about another rent’s month in addition to the 2 month deposit you’ll probably
have to put up.
If you instead decide to save money and sublet a place you’re
also probably fucked. Half the posts on craigslist are probably scams; The
other half are filled with lies. 2 bedroom basically means you get the living
room in a 1 br apartment. That nice room in the east village that you see for a
reasonable price is a 6th floor walkup with 90 sq feet of space. Not
only are most of the apartments shitty or lies, the real estate market is
extremely competitive. For each apartment that you find that you’d actually be
willing to take there are dozens of potential renters competing with you. Basically don't expect to live anything like they do in Friends without some serious $$$$$$$$$$$!
It smells like pee everywhere
It shouldn’t be a surprise that new york smells like shit.
The subways smell like pee and the streets are lined with garbage. You’ll also
see rats that are bigger than cats and abnormally large insects that have thrived
eating the garbage lined streets of new york. Apparently bed bugs are also a
major issue with shitty apartments here so you should pretty much never buy any
used bed furniture while you’re here.
The weather = WTF!??!
If you're used to california weather then the east coast is going to suck. There is nothing more confusing than trying to prepare for a humid 95 degree thunderstorm in the middle of July. The winters are equally frustrating because your lips will chap if you go more than 2 hours without chapstick. You'll also have to dress like an eskimo to keep warm.
No more driving!!!
If you love driving like I do then you'll be disappointed if you move to New York. Driving in New York is not only frustrating and probably slower than the subway, but also as expensive as renting a second apartment. If you do take the subway you can essentially get anywhere in the city in under 30 minutes. Trains usually come in under 5 minutes which is something you can't really say about BART. However, in the morning and afternoon commutes the trains are extremely packed and you'll sometimes have to miss a train and take the next one to get on.
There’s tons of shit to do!
Probably the main reason so many people come here is the variety of things you can do. Last friday I saw Starry Nights at the MoMA, went clubbing in the west village, took a limo to koreatown to eat, and got home at 5am. The next morning I went to Ippudo in the east village, walked central park, went to the museum of natural history, and went to a rooftop bar! It’s pretty much impossible to be bored here. The only question is whether or not you have enough time and money to take advantage of these opportunities.
