not even from online! from the "January 2009" folder in my computer. by dear amateur photographer who shares my blood :). really makes me want to take up photography. I realized even though I don't have a fancy pants SLR, my own hand me down fujifilm camera ain't so bad..
thoughts i currently have:
I am impatient and impulse driven. It's not uncommon for me to blindly act upon my momentary desires.
I am an all or nothing person, which often drives me to do things I deeply regret.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that these two flaws are present in different realms of daily life. My goal is to fix these two flaws, or at least lessen the extent that they are manifested in my life.
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sometimes i feel like there are few people that can put up with the cognitive explosions i detonate in my head.
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mang0o: it's weird how the human mind works, if you act a certain way your body will adapt to it
so basically,
go through the motions, and the process will become natural...
i like.
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I've always found interpersonal chemistry rather intriguing. How is it that you can you foster the most AMAZING brain tickling conversation with one person, but you always try to avoid interaction with another person because no matter how hard you try, the conversation always dries up like a thirsty grape. a raisin.
I suppose its because everyone in the world has a certain set of wavelengths that they think on. There's a certain frequency that you're born into, say, orange. And as you experience the world, you begin to understand it on a newer level and once in a while you will "one up" and gain a wavelength here or there. But it never strays too far from your original color, so you will maybe dip into Red or Yellow.
If you find another red or yellow, your interactions will probably be good. Find a green, you might end up with a few misunderstood jokes. Once you stray to blue or purple, you do your best to nod and smile and hope that they just asked a "yes or no" question.
what's scary is meeting someone from the infrared region. or, god forbid, the ultraviolet region. Those are the people you walk past on telegraph and dwight. Actually- they don't even have to be-. I've met lots of ultraviolets just walking through campus. The thing is- what i'm calling "ultraviolet" is relative. they don't have to be what we outwardly label as "crazy" because the issue I'm talking about here is the DIFFERENCE in wavelength between you and them. Who's to say what's sane and logical? It's relative. Maybe you're the crazy one then, huh?
and you know what's probably one of the most exciting experiences in the world? meeting another orange. I don't know if i've met an orange yet, but I definitely have met a few yellow-oranges and red-oranges. where's my orange orange?
i already finished this entry, and when I read this section i felt like adding another thought in:
what if an orange meets someone who is totally OUT of their realm of understanding. like what if orange meets a dog? just because they are completely different species does this mean that they can't form some bond that would be EXTRAordinary (quite literally)? HMMMMMm, something to think about... okay i think i draw the line for this analogy to my analogy right here.
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holy cow. I ramble too much. this is why i shouldn't stay up till 2am making M&M cookies. I just know it makes sense in my head.
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nite, world!
